"They Gave Me Candy!"

Oh, Thumbelina was so happy tonight. She was the most excited she's ever been on Halloween. I guess the past 2 years have been more of an "Oh, OK. I get to dress up. Awesome!" This year, at 5, it's "I get candy from strangers? And my parents allow it? Really? AWESOME!"

What was sad is that not many people actually participated. What happened to Halloween? I grew up in a neighborhood who made a party of it. The parents (at least one) would stay home and all the kids would hit the circle up. It was an awesome night. A wonderful time. Now, nothing. I just don't get it.

But, the girls had a blast, so did their dad. He was happy to be able to do this with them. And that is what matters. Seeing Thumbelina running down a hill screaming "Mommy! They gave me candy!" was enough to bring a smile to my face for the night.

She Does Love Me. I Think?

Words from and 8 year old: "You don't have to dress up like a witch for Halloween Mommy. You already are one!"

This from the child who just this morning kicked me as hard as she could in my right breast. Mr. Peaches picked her up and walked up behind them. She saw me coming and kicked. Hard. It's 2 hours later and I still feel a bit sick from it. She "didn't realize I would actually hurt you mommy!"

Maura Kelly Needs a Therapist

“I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything,” she writes. “To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room.”

Yes. I am fat. I'm sorry Ms. Kelly that it is aesthetically displeasing for you to see me just walk across the room. I'm sorry that you think it's disgusting for me to kiss my husband. I'm so sorry that the world isn't going to conform to your version of pretty. I hope you can get some medication to help you tolerate the world that's not perfect.

Hopefully it doesn't make you fat.

Bitch.

We Stabbed It With A Knife And Then Gutted It

It's Beginning To Feel A Lot Like Fall!

Last night I made my apple and onion grilled chicken. It smelled wonderful and honestly, once I had it on the plate, it left me wishing Thanksgiving was here!


After we ate, we all painted our pumpkin gourds. They aren't done yet, they are a work in progress! I'll showcase the finished product soon. Promise. Right now, you can enjoy the start:

I will stop lying to my parents and start taking my schoolwork seriously

That is the sentence that Alice is currently in the kitchen bawling her eyes out over. She hasn't been exactly honest with us, and for some reason, I haven't been informed. How am I, the mother, supposed to know something is wrong, when it all seems fine on my end? It blows up on that end.

Apparently, the kids have to glue their homework into a notebook when they are done. I wasn't informed of this, and Alice hasn't been doing it, so she gets in trouble. I check her agenda off each day, because she does her homework, but apparently, glue is a part of it. No excuses. I get it. However, I can't enforce the damn rule if you don't inform the parents. (This is the part where you say, "Duh")

Why do we consider it lying? At her school, if you finish all your homework, you get to eat in the classroom on Friday. If not, you have to stay in the cafeteria. Alice has been keeping it from me that she has had to stay in the cafeteria a few times because she forgot to glue her homework in.

Have currently sent her to sit on her bed until she calms down. At this rate, she would be done with them if she'd just, you know, write them.

Harvest Fall Get Ghoulish

Bento lunches have gotten fun. A couple of days ago, I made a sweet fall harvest, only to find myself seething with creative jealousy when one of my online friends showcased her completely awesome ghoulish Halloween lunch. Jealousy is bad people. Bad, bad, bad.



See how sweet? Right down to the cheese heart on the fall leaf. But I wanted to make "L's" gross out Halloween lunch, so I tried my hand. It doesn't look as awesome, but I don't think it looks too bad. Bloody eyeballs (dyed red), then the cherry tomato eyeballs (dyed green), moldy fingers, and a bat PB&J. I wonder if she'll actually be able to eat it! The cheese I cut the eyes out of looked like swiss cheese, so I added it. Too bad I can't make a mouse!