Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Back to School! Back to School!

Chloe went back to school today. It was a growing session for me, since I let her ride the bus. I started by loading up the family in the minivan and driving across the street to the bus stop.

Oh, I am supposed to let her do this herself? Really? But, but... She's only 7!!!! Maybe tomorrow I'll be a little more OK. Or at least by next school year. Being the Internet accessible age, I see a pedophile around every damn corner, trying to lure my child away. Break out in sweats wondering if she is going to make it home, or is someone going to kidnap her when she gets off the bus? How about moronic drivers who ignore the stopped school bus and hit my child?

Matt says I'm neurotic. I think I have to agree with him. And it's driving me crazy. I have a tendency to see every possible God awful scenario that could happen. How do you make this stop? It can not be healthy.

She seems to like school. Even the new uniforms. I hate that she had to start a new school, but since we moved, there was nothing I could do. Even if her old school did say I could lie about the address. I won't lie, I considered it.

At Parent/Teacher orientation last night we were a little worried about how they arranged it. This school is HALF the size of Chloes old one, and I know that is a good thing, smaller teacher:student ratio, but due to that, they might have realized that having EVERYTHING in the main hallway, and the teacher meet and greet in the tiny cafeteria was not a bright idea. It was a cluster of people trying to get information, and many people getting angry because some parents had the rude entitled attitude that you were obviously standing in line for so long just to hold a spot for them to jump in front of you. Ever wanted to slap a soccer mom?

Hopefully I will feel better later. The principal is a riot. I met him over the summer when signing her up, and last night, he didn't let me down is his mannerisms. He had us cracking up. Before getting to the serious issue of the flu. What has been on every parents mind since school season kicked back up. And I will say, he scared me. 100 degree temperature? Don't even think about stepping foot in his school. Even if you are a teacher. They are going overboard to try and keep the school safe. And I for one, am glad.

Day 1: over. Day 2? Just shoot me.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Back to Jersey, Back to Reality

After leaving Natalies house, we (Rose, Melty, Irish and I) headed back to Jersey to spend time with our favorite, very cheeky, monkey. I start out driving. Which is a YAY! moment for me, as I hate driving in areas that I am not comfortable with.

It seems to me, that when I am driving, that's when all the wonderful bridges pop up. I am starting to just go with the flow. Bridges and tunnels. I think Rose was ready to slap the shit out of me by the end of the trip. We drove through New York, which is where we switched sides, as I was not comfortable getting back on the interstate after pulling over in the Bronx for a Crime Scene. Don't ask.

After what feels like forever stuck in New York traffic, on a FREAKING SUNDAY, we cross into Jersey, and it's smooth sailing from there.

We had so much fun that first night, spending time with the Monkey. She took us down to the board walk. Which I have to say, beats Myrtle Beach and it's strip by a long shot. Back in it's glory, Myrtle Beach rocked, but developers (the pavilions anyone?) ruined that. They have TWO pavilions, and we wound up at the one with the Sky Coaster. After a plate full of raw clams (the Monkey loves me), we started walking, and when we came upon the Sky Coaster, The monkey looked at us and said "who wants to ride with me?". Now, there is no way in hell that I am getting on that thing. I would die from fear. So, being evil, I look to Irish, and in my best southern accent tell her to do it, as a wedding present for me.

After getting a bottle and shot of liquid courage, the Monkey, Irish, and Melty get in line. I am not going to lie, the Monkey is our fearless leader, as she proved by LAUGHING the entire way! All the way up, and then, as they were swinging across the Atlantic ocean. I mean that maniacal evil laugh. Irish is screaming "It's an Irish sandwich!". She's positioned in the middle of them. Kinky.

The next morning we wake up the littlest monkey smiling at us. Rose and I are in his bed, and I think he thought we were funny. Let me tell you, the little monkey is freaking adorable. I could have kidnapped him. He also weaseled his way into a day with the girls. :-) We headed to breakfast, and I don't remember the name of the place, but I had the most amazing omelet. It was filled with crab meat and so so so good. But afterwards, it was bittersweet, as this is where Melty and Irish left us to head back home.

We headed down to the beach. Where vacationers were trying to get on the beach through the state park and being turned away, the Monkey, having a pass, just drove on. Wonder how many fingers we got? How many bad names we were called? The beach was beautiful. There were whole clam shells, and even a fully intact crab shell, which I haven't seen since eating my last deviled crab. (yummy... Now I want crab again)

I swore I was not getting into the water. This is where the bull shark attacked all of those people years and years ago. This is where the fact of Jaws took place. Where the author got his idea to terrify people about going into the water. So, while I wore my bathing top, I just had jeans and boy short panties on. But I couldn't resists the lure of the ocean, and before I knew it was standing in my bathing top and purple panties wading into the ocean! Jersey had me acting all exhibitionist.

Unfortunately, after this, our vacation came to an end. We left our fearless leader, and drove back to Roses house. I drove the whole way! Including over more giant ass bridges. And survived.

Now, I am back to reality. Balancing check books, getting ready for the first day of school, throwing birthday parties... I need another vacation.

To The Place My Sister Was Born

Well, not really. She was born on a base in Connecticut, as her biological father was in the Army. It's always strange to picture my mother that young and a military wife. Creepy...

We got to Natalies house, and stayed up talking for quite some time. Finally, we crashed. Not that it stopped us from getting up super early and heading the mall. Where we met the hottie named Jimmy working at Charlotte Russe. Oh my god Jimmy was freaking fantasy hot. I promise I remembered I am getting married. I even let Jimmy know that Rose was married, I was engaged, but you know Jimmy, that girl that kicked her leg in the air? The one whose ass you keep staring at? Yeah, she's single. Just so you know.

We headed to get Rose and Natalies tattoos. Well, tat #1 for Rose. She got her second the next day with me. Our artist of the day(s) was named Mike. Apparently, he did tats at the MTV Music Awards and knows Kat Von D. He also never even blushed when we asked him about penis tattoos and how erect they need to be for the process. He swears he has never and will never tat a penis, but that his buddy did it, and he charged $5o0 an hour. I don't even have a penis and the idea of a needle stabbing up and down into that delicate piece of skin makes my imaginary penis hurt. It was here, at the parlor, that Melty and Irish met up with us.

The weekend flew by. The Saurus met up with us on Saturday morning, and I was so happy to finally meet her. And her magic camera. There isn't much I can get into about the rest of the trip, as somethings are just meant to stay private for the risk of incriminating the innocent. And guilty. No boys, nothing like that you dirty dirty pervs.

What I can say is that I was super sad to leave Nat. I had a blast with her, and felt as if I have known her forever. I wish we lived closer.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Jersey Devil Poisoned My Coffee

That would be a strange title if you didn't take the trip with me. The trip that took me through more states that I have ever been in. In my entire life. Total states driven through? Virginia, Maryland, New York, Connecticut, Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania. 7 states. Count that, 7. No wonder my ankles look like I cut them open and stuffed two giant softballs inside. (Yes, melty, I have water right beside me.)

I started the trip at 8am on Thursday when I boarded the train from home up to my friend "Rosalies" house. Yes, Rosalie is an assumed name. If you know me, you know her real name. And the loves I have for her. She is my sister wife. Though whether she is married to Matt, or me to her Emmett, we have yet to decide.

I finally got to her place around 5pm, and we were on the road to visit our friend by 6pm. This is where the adventure really began. And by the way? Jersey is full of freaking weirdos. No offense to my Fearless Leader Cheeky.

When we got into Jersey, we realized we were tired. It was around 11pm at this time, so we stopped for coffee at Dunkin Donuts. There is no better coffee than DD, but for some reason, this time it was awful. After a few sips, we realized we couldn't really drink it. We were also out of gas, so we headed back up the street to get gas.

The first thing you should know is that in Jersey, it's against the law to pump your own gas. Which is what led to our first encounter of the fucked up kind. While we waited for the attendant to come over and help us, we looked at each other and realized we really had no idea what we were supposed to do. Luckily, the attendant seemed willing to help us along, took my card, and then asked us where we were from. It seemed an innocent enough question, so we told him. To which he asked where we were going. Still innocent, we told him.

Then, our little gas station man asked us WHY we were going to Connecticut. Rose and I looked at each other, kind of laughing and startled, explained that our friend was getting a divorce, and we were going to be with her. Now this is where the conversation took a different turn...

"why she get a divorce?" (and before we could answer) "Oh? he has little dick? She need a big black dick."

Wait, what???!!! Did he just say what I think he said? Oh, yeah. He did. And then proceeded to tell us about this woman that wasn't happy with his dick, said it was too small. Though, he assured us he was hung. We didn't know what to do, he still had my credit card!

Finally we got away from the gas station attendant and back on the road. Following the directions that Rose printed out from Google Maps. We were driving down a dark tree filled back road. You know, that spooky road from all of those horror movies? It's at this point that Rose mentions the Jersey Devil. And suddenly the one street light right in front of us goes out. And we are driving alone, down a dark deserted road.

We get back to civilization, we stop at a hotel, that happens to have a club connected to it. See, we realize that our directions make no sense what so ever. This leads to our strange jersey encounter #3 (the chasing from the Jersey Devil being number 2). The Angry Hotel Night Manager. The dude who angrily tore up Roses directions. Why? Because they made him Angry. And when I say Angry, I mean ANGRY. After listening to him rant and rave about the internet maps, GPS, and pure human stupidity, he gives up his directions to get to where we need to be.

At this point, Rose and I switch driving. My stomach is churning, but I chalk it up to being nervous. We nervously exchange the idea that he is leading us down a path to have us killed, such as in a Rob Zombie movie, and move forward. Only to find ourselves even more confused than ever, because we wind up on an interstate that was never mentioned. So, we pull of to another gas station.

We both walk in, as this seems to be a seedy kind of station. As we do, a couple of construction workers from up on the interstate walk in as well. Rose asks the gas attendant for help on the directions, and he points to the maps and goes "there's the maps". What???!!!! Really? Thanks for the help asshole. It's at this point you here one of the construction workers sigh, and step up to help us. He was awesome, and I felt awful for thinking bad thoughts.

We get back on the road, and this leads to the Tappan Zee bridge. Only a super high bridge that anyone who knows me knows would freak me the hell out. I mean, you have to drive UP the bridge. I did it though. With minimal hyperventilation. Which I later realized was because I didn't realize how high this bridge really is. I looked it up today. And am now hyperventilating over my awesomeness.

But, remember how I mentioned my queasy stomach? I had to pull over. At the same time, Rose mentioned her stomach was acting up too. Apparently the Jersey Devil works at Dunkin Donuts and poisoned our coffee. Which would explain why he didn't' speak. We switch drivers, and finally we arrive in Connecticut, hours later than planned.

It's after midnight here, so the actual meetup and crime scene in the Bronx will have to wait until later.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Excited, Nervous, Scared

I have two big events coming up. One is of course my wedding, and the other is my group meetup, where we are all heading to see Natalie.

1st: I am so excited about my weeding! I have been waiting for years to meet a man who could love me for ME, and not wish I was somehow different. Matt is that man. We can fight, but at the end of the day, we love each other, and my heart still skips a beat at the sight of him.

1st: I am so excited to spend time with my girls! It sucks that we don't live closer, but I am glad we are going to be there for Natalie. Glad that she has friends that care enough to be there for her. I am also so excited to be having the chance to meet Tracy. She is awesome!

2nd: I am so nervous about my wedding. I keep having fears that I will forget important things, and the wedding will fall apart. Nervous that Matt will somehow realize how insane I am and leave me at the alter! Ok, I know he won't do that, but the it shows you my frame of mind!

2nd: I am so nervous about the trip. What if my train wrecks? What if something happens at home while I am gone? What if the other girls and I don't hit it off face to face? What if I am a total bore?

3rd: I am scared. I want to marry Matt, there is no doubt. But I am scared he is marrying me because he feels like he has to. I have never been good at accepting good things happening to me. I am not used to it, so when they do, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have ruined good things before because of this. I am so lucky that Matt is who he is. A weaker man might have given up by now.

3rd: I am scared. This also goes back to why I am so nervous. What if something does happen while I am gone? What if they don't like me? What if? I freaking hate WHAT IF! It's evil and can screw with your mind so well.

All I can do, is believe in who I am. Of course Matt loves me. I am ME! Of course the girls will love me, I am ME!

I also know that being ME doesn't mean I can't do things on my own. You know what? The only other trip I ever took "on my own" was a class trip to Europe, and as wonderful as it was, I don't consider it an "on my own" trip. This trip will be about me. I am 27 years old, and have always lived with someone, always been a daughter, a girlfriend, and a mom. For a few days, I will still be all three, but I will also be able to spread my wings a little, and fly.

The good thing about that, is that I also know what I will be flying back home to. To Matt, to Chloe, to Emily. There is no greater love than the love I hold for them.

Ok, so enough with the sweet super sappy post. My internet was down for 20 hours today, so as you can tell, I got in a few moments of self reflection.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

What have you read? (52 for me)

Instructions: Copy this into your NOTES. Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read. Tag other book nerds.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen -X
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien -
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte - X
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling - X
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee -X
6 The Bible-X
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte -X
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell -
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman -
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens -X

Total: 7
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott - X
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy -
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller -X
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare -X
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier -
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien - X
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk -
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger - X
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger-
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot -

Total: 5

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell -X
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald - X
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens -
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy - X
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams - X
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky -
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck - X
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll- X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame- X

Total: 7

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy - X
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens- X
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis - X
34 Emma-Jane Austen - X
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen -
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis - X (this IS TCON)
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini -
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres - X
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden -
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne - X

Total: 7

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell -
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown - X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez -
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving-
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins -
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery-X
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy -
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood -
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding -
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan -

Total: 2

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel-
52 Dune - Frank Herbert-
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons-
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen-X
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth -
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon -
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens - X
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon-
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - X

Total: 3

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck - X
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov-X
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt -
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold -X
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas-X
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac -
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy -
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding-X
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie -
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville -X

Total: 6

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens-X
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker-X
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett -X
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson -
75 Ulysses - James Joyce- X
76 The Inferno – Dante-X
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome -
78 Germinal - Emile Zola -
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray-
80 Possession - AS Byatt –

Total: 5

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens -X
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell -
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker-X
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro -
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert -X
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry -
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White - X
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom -
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle-X
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton-

Total: 5

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad -
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery - X
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks -
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams-
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole -
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute -
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas -X
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare - X
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl - X
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo-X

total 5