Thursday, December 31, 2009

Better Late Than Never

Still sick. My head feels like it's filled with marshmallows. Soured nasty marshmallows. If I slightly move it, the room spins in 15 different directions. So, as you can imagine, I feel like I am on one huge acid trip. Or what I imagine an acid trip is like since I have never actually experienced one.

I sent Matt to the store to pick up some bread flour and dry milk so I could use my bread maker for the first time, and he comes home with it, as well as a brand new loaf of bread. Because we were almost out... Really? Um, what was I going to make bread for? To throw at the birds? Either he doesn't think the bread machine will make edible bread, which means he wasted $95, or he was in his own little world, the one that doesn't require the function of all brain cells.

He has a job interview tomorrow. A great way to start the new year. So, keep your fingers crossed. They did a pre-interview over the phone a few weeks ago, and he was concerned when he didn't hear back. I am glad to be right (once again) about the fact that they were just waiting until after the holidays to get started on regular interviews.

The year is ending, and I am glad. 2009 was a stressful year. Yes, I got married, which is wonderful, but so many other stressful things happened, that it put a damper on the odd numbered year. Which isn't surprising. I tend to dislike odd number years. Maybe because I was born in an even number? Or just because I'm a freak like that.

To end off my final post of the year, here are pictures from our Christmas:

Thumbelina and Matt

Alice after opening the book she begged for and I kept telling her no

Thumbelina playing Matt's Guitar from his Guitar Hero 5

My Edward Cullen Water Bottle

Alice loved her scooter from Santa. She rode around on it before waking up her dad and sister

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Sick for the holidays

I hope everyone had a great Christmas weekend? Trust no one killed any relatives? We headed to the Outer Banks after opening gifts, and on Sunday, I met up with a friend out there and we went and drooled over everything in a store called the Kitchen Connection. I left with a bottle of clear Vanilla extract, 9 cookie cutters, garlic press, a new wisk, and a cupcake carrying case. Maybe something else too, as I spent 37.00 in there. (With much thanks to Becky for bringing that down to 32.00 with the 5.00 off coupon)

But now, here it is Wednesday, and I am laying in bed with an ear that WAS draining, but stopped, building pain and fluid behind it. Add that to the cold that kept me from meeting with friends from out of town yesterday, and I am sick and pissed. Bad combo.

And I am in love with my husband right now, because he's making me pudding.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Hot Tub

Matt and I just got out of one. I feel so relaxed. If I had an extra $6,000 laying around, we would so own one.

But then, we would have to worry about the nosy neighbors staring us down. With long range lenses.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Qoute of Christmas Morning

"Girl, back off my Edward. You may be my daughter, but I'll have to hurt you!" - Me, after Alice tried to take my Edward Cullen water bottle.


Finally! I think every year that old man gets later and later... So that's a total of 11 presents per child from us, and 2 each from Santa.

Alice is getting a razor scooter and a hair dressing doll

Thumbelina is getting a Tea With Me Belle and and Princess dress up kit


Thursday, December 24, 2009

What was your favorite Christmas Present?

I have 4 presents that stick out in my mind as my favorites over the years. These were the presents I wished for, but never believed I would get. Well, 3 of them. Apparently, I predicted one of them in my 1st grade school journal.

1. Shera Castle: Anyone who was a child in the 80's remembers how awesome Shera was. This is the year that I recieved her, and my Shera dolls. Remember Bo? You pressed that button on the back to make his little red heart beat for Shera? Princess of Power. My first foray into female empowerment. This is also the year that Ashlei and I got our Jem and the Holograms/Pizzaz and the Misfit dolls. Another awesome 80's icon.

2. Black with pink designs light up LA Gear shoes with cool laces: Oh, LA Gear. The IT shoes of the 80's next to Hightop converse. I drooled over these shoes. Begged for them. Even wrote in my 1st grade journal that my dad was buying these shoes for me for Christmas. Even though he made it clear that wasn't happening. Imagine how happy I was when I got these totally awesome shoes? And how jealous it made all of my friends!

3. The Blue/Green Scooter: All of my friends had one, and I was stuck with a bike still? I kept wishing I would get this totally awesome toy. I remember waking up Christmas morning and finding this under the Christmas tree. My eyes lit up and I loved that scooter more than anything. And then, after month, never rode it again. Just like a child. When we were moving and my parents decided to sell it, I took off to a friends house with it, so it wouldn't be sold. My sister had to come get me. And that scooter I loved disappeared forever.

4. Black Lerner/New York Jacket: By this time, I was in foster care, and had been for a few year. I was in high school, and my ideas on Christmas were pretty jaded. How could they not be? I wanted this jacket so bad. It was beautiful and soft, and very ME. I never will forget how happy I was to open this up. I never thought I would find it under the tree.

Religious Ignorance

I read something today on my mommy board. "Isn't Pagan something to do with anti religion?"

And I was shocked that people are still so closed minded to a religion that has been around since before Christianity. Especially considering that Christianity has it roots deeply ingrained in paganism. Which they will swear loudly is not true. But the most obvious of this the location of all Christian holidays, which were placed to coincide with the pagan holidays. And depending on who you ask, this was done either:
A. To make it easier for the pagans to convert
B. To wipe out another religion, as the church often did.

I am staying out of that argument today.

There are also stories that predate Christianity that are very similar to the the Christ story.

To make a long story short, don't be ignorant to peoples religions. And if you want to be, because you want to be close minded believing yours is the only way to God, keep your mouth shut.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Let's Nike Tonight Babe

Last night, Matt said the Nike slogan "Just Do It" to which I replied, "Well, I'd like to, but we are in the car"

Apparently, this has now become our slogan for sex. "Want to Nike?"

Just as my friend Natalie's phrase of Pen 15 (put it together: Pen15) has become his "Pen from warehouse 15"

Monday, December 21, 2009

Alice has a smart

She came home from school today, and handed me a paper. She was selected to compete in a statewide math competition.

As a mother, I am over the moon. As a mother who despised math until I was in the work force? I am over the freaking universe. I feel like running up the tallest mountain and screaming from the top: "MY BABY IS SMART!!!!!!!!!!"

Then of course, I come back down to earth and remember that might be a tad bit over kill. I'll just rent a bull horn and drive around town.

Honestly though, for all the bragging mothers do about their children being 2 month old geniuses, it's not all it's cracked up to be. I have spent a lot of time complaining on my mommy board about the lack of programs for her. There are plenty of programs and help available for kids who are behind, but when your kid is ahead? They are just supposed to sit there and twittle their thumbs. Alice is board out of her mind at school, and spends time at home learning things she should be learning at school, if it wasn't for this stupid NCLB crap.

I do not think that children should be left behind, so don't take it that way. I feel something else needs to be done. Supplemental programs for these children, not making the whole class suffer. Chloe's old school offered free after school, and pulled children into different classes for reading and math if they were advance or learning on a slower curve. It worked really well. You know there is a but, right?

While they were doing more, and doing better, the main tests didn't show this, so they were still listed as failing per NCLB, where this school is not, but working at a lower standard than her old school.

I just don't think you can win with this crap.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Don't Bring Wine To The Christmas Party

Last night was the Christmas party for Matt's moms side of the family. Matt and I spent time arguing over what our white elephant gifts would be, before he finally conceded and realized the bottles of wine would work, as I still have two cases left over from the wedding, and I was kicking those bad boys out.

But, apparently, this was truly not a good idea. And my Uncle in Law (?) got a little bit wild...

LoL. Ok, not really. But the bathing suit and the dollar store hair were other gifts, and we were having a blast. You can't get dressed up like that and not have pictures wind up on the internet.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Speaking of Wal-Mart

I want to thank the person who hid the soft grip pumpkin shaped cookie cutter that I found. During Halloween, I was drooling over this, but wouldn't spend $5 on a cookie cutter.

Apparently, since it's coming upon the end of the Christmas shopping season, you can imagine that all Halloween items were drastically reduced. Last I saw of any Halloween items, they were down to 75%, but the cutters were still $5. I just gave up for this year.

But then, I found it. Hidden behind boxes of baking supplies that have been at Wal-Mart for months. I decided to scan it to see if it was still $5. And it paid off. I got my soft grip cookie cutter for.....

$0.30. Yes. 30 cents.

So, thank you item hider.

2 Blogs For The Price Of One

I have been cooking meals I have never made before. And with that, has come fear of screwing it up. Of not knowing if what I am doing is right. So, I decided to start another blog (while still keeping this one), that is all about cooking.

So, PLEASE come visit me at Peaches Pantry. My other tricks with food.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Call Out The National Guard!

The foothills of North Carolina currently have 100% chance of snow. For those that live in the north and get snow on a daily basis, I don't know if you would understand the need to for the run on the store for milk and bread for 2-4 inches of snow. But here in the south, that is cause for mass panic and bad driving. Seriously. We have no idea how to drive on it, nor how to survive without milk and bread.

And apparently, Walmart decided 6 lanes out of the 30 they have, was a sufficient amount to have open. Which was really confusing, as on a normal day, they have half or more of them open. The lanes were 8+ people deep.

We were there because I needed a few baking supplies. And at some point, the thought of throwing sprinkles at a few crazy milk and bread idiots crossed my mind.

Free Adverstisment

Why am I drinking coffee in my living room at 8:00pm on a Thursday night?


Matt has been buying coffee creamers, assuming I will love them. First it was vanilla rum, which I wouldn't try because I am not a fan of the taste of rum. He loves it, so that works. Then he came home with White Chocolate Raspberry. Which sounds awesome in theory, but I hate Raspberries. And apparently, so does he.

Tonight, we stopped by Food Lion to get a soda, they are on sale for $1. He decided to buy me another new one. Which you would think buy now he would just give up. But he called me in the car, and I told him not to buy it and he said I was going to love it and bought it anyway.

3rd time is a charm. I am in LOVE with this creamer! He made me try it as soon as we got home. Which is fine I guess, as I still have a blanket to make and cookies to bake. Chocolate Mint Truffle. I might have to stock up on this seasonal treat!


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Shirley Temple, Eat Your Heart Out!

Thumbalina has you beat by miles.


I wish I could whistle really loud to get you to shutup ignorance

I should stay away from reading news. Especially if Bill O'Reilly is mentioned in the article. I really think I am just happier that way.

I am a Christian. Albeit, not your typical one. To the extent that many would disown me for my beliefs. That said, they can get over it and remember that Jesus, whether God or Prophet, taught love and tolerance. I think they are forgetting that.

Christians are getting up in arms that stores and cards are not saying Merry Christmas anymore. They are saying Happy Holidays instead. Christians, get over yourselves. Seriously. Christmas is not the only holiday celebrated during this time of the month, and it's easier for store clerks to say Happy Holidays that to trip over pronouncing Happy HanuKwanzYuleSolstiMas. But then, this group of Christians doesn't really care, because they seem to have forgotten that they are not the only religion in the world, and that tolerance shouldn't extend outside of their churches doors.

And if we want to get really deep, Jesus is not the reason for the Season. He wasn't even born in December. Back up a few months and try again. But I don't see Pagan religions reminding them of this on a daily basis. Why? Because they have the truest, strongest tolerance of any religion I know. They smile, knowing in their hearts that Christmas was made to coincide with their holiday so that it would be easier to wipe out another religion that the Church didn't like.

It would be nice if the Christians would learn a thing or two from the Pagans.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

So guess what came crawling out of my tree today?

I have never seen one up close. He/She was beautiful. My itty bitty little dog Ziva ran her up the tree, so I brought her in. I swear this beautiful animal was POSING for the camera. It would turn, adjust, and then look back at me. It left while I was watching it. I could have sworn it smiled...


My children have changed their names...

I am not joking. Out of the blue Chloe wants to be called Alice (Twilight) and Emily, who I have always called Emi or EmiLina wants to be called Thumbelina (no explanation needed)

So there. The years of picking my childrens names, and they go and change them at the ages of 7 and 4.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Why you want to slit his throat at 3am

I want to know who invented snoring, and how many people have died as a direct result?

My husband snores. And by all rights, I should love and put up with this, as when I had all of my tonsil and throat issues 2 years ago, I snored better than any man alive. But I don't now, and if he woke me up, I would roll over. And again, I had my tonsils taken out.

It's his turn. Either by a doctor or by me. He says they were taken out years before he met me, but I don't believe him. Not with that noise coming from the right side of the bed. The one that wakes me up 15 times a night as he rolls over and whispers SNOOOOOORRRRREEEEE right into my ear. "Roll over." Snoooorrrreeee. I hiss "Matt, ROLL OVER!" "Ugh, I wasn't sleeping! I wasn't snoring!" But he rolls over, and the snoring magically stops. For some reason, facing the way that is not toward my ear doesn't illicit the throat slashing sounds of the evil snore.

Except for last night. I guess he has allergies bothering him. I don't know. All I know is this morning, thoughts of murder keep waving around inside my head. But, at least he slept well?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Hey, Birthday Party Moms!

Do me a favor please? Put balloons on your mailbox. I don't care if you son/daughter doesn't want it, it's the universal sign for "BIRTHDAY PARTY HERE! AT THIS HOUSE! STOP HERE!"

Because otherwise, it just pisses my husband off, who can't figure out how to pull the address up on the GPS.

Friday, December 11, 2009

And speaking of commercials.... Dolce anyone?

Care to explain why this add was on basic cable in the middle of the afternoon? I am not a prude, but if the "sexy" M&M commercial has to be held off until primetime, why in the hell not this? And what the heck does it have to do with selling a watch?

Target, you freaking morons

Really? That is your commercial targeting CHILDREN for the 2009 season? Who is doing your advertising, Ebeneezer Scrooge?

And no, don't tell me that you are trying to appeal to a broader market with this. You are going after children, who DO believe in Santa. And trying to brainwash them into thinking Santa's toys are crappy, so they need their parents to run to Target to buy the cool toys.

Well, guess what Target? You're toy selection sucks. And you don't have the cool toys.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Like it actually attracted anyone you idiots.

I just spent 10 minutes deleting 36 comments off of my blog. All from some Japanese porn site. And their comments were freaking hilarious. It wasn't any risque blog post, and I am assuming, it's only because I had the word BED in the title? But seriously, if you are going to post spam, trying to get people to check out your porn website, on a ENGLISH SPEAKING blog, writing in all Japanese is not the smart thing to do.

Here is just ONE of the 36 posts (Translated)
"Please stop work. There is the invitation which exceeds current monthly income in one day. A little between, there was application from the woman, sweetheart contract by the demand where the certain famous [serebu] ripening woman is strong. Until now, it seems that perseveres because of position and reputation, but age is repeated, it seems that loneliness becomes strong. Please give healing to the woman who desires the time of the man"

Really? Um, I think I'll pass on giving a woman a healing. Thanks though.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Can You Name What Is Wrong In This Picture?

Chloe picked out her own outfit for school and got herself dressed this morning.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Are 7 year olds ready for Anatomy Class?

Chloe has a new jacket. It's not a huge puffy jacket, but she's used to her "sweater" jackets. And she hates any and all things puffy... But, she likes this one. Apparently though, this morning, she decided it makes her look like a fat Eskimo.

Do not ever google Fat Eskimo in front of your kid. No matter if you want to prove she doesn't look like a fat Eskimo. Otherwise, they are going to wind up with an anatomy lesson that you are not ready to give. As the first of google images came up, there was a girl, naked, on all fours, with her glory showing to the world and smiling at the camera. WTF? I thought I was going to get that picture of that sweet chubby Eskimo man, and instead got Vagina?!?!?!

But here is my baby, not an Eskimo:


Monday, December 7, 2009

What Can Make Me Squeal Like a Little Girl?

Going to to the library and finding out that 6 of the 20 books you have on hold have come in. I think my husband is only starting to scratch the surface of how crazy I really am.

Patricia Briggs has joined the ranks of Katie MacAlister and Jennifer Estep for me. Writers who can write anything and I will devour it like the book candy it is. And the good the about book candy is that it doesn't go straight to your hips. Which is always a plus.

As I reminded Matt in the van on the way home, the ways into my heart are pretty simple. Craft supplies, new baking or cooking supplies, and books. He just hasn't quite figured that out yet. Which is why his gifts generally wind up going back to the store. Every year, I give him a detailed list of items that would make the happiest woman in the world. Usually 10-15 items for him to pick from. (No, not all them items. 1-3 of them. So it's a surprise)

Imagine my surprise when every year, I don't get a damn thing off the list, OR he goes and buys something "similiar". Like when I wanted the round Belgian waffle maker and the Vera Wang Princess and he shows up with....

A square regular waffle maker and the regular Vera Wang. As on the day he was at Belk, they stopped selling Princess. (Which of course, the started selling again a week later, as it was there when I returned it)

I love him though. For better or worse. :-)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Foster Care

Being an adult foster child, I find more and more that it doesn't leave you. If anything, the identity you became sticks with you and becomes stronger each day. Foster children have become my pet "cause" if you must ask. And yes, I still identify myself as a foster child. Like I said, it sticks. It becomes your identity.

I didn't have the life you did growing up. I wasn't allowed to go play at a friends house, we never got to watch TV, and I was made to do whatever our house mom wanted us to do. I learned that every type of meat can be covered in cream of mushroom soup and be called dinner.

I also learned that other people, PARENTS, judged us. I mean, we were foster kids, we were dirty and bad corrupt children. It never occurred to them that I came from an affluent family that just thought we were an inconvenience and a cheap punching bag. Matt finds it funny that I lived so drastically. 9 Years at each end of the "money" spectrum. I find it sad.

But none of that is my reason for posting this here. What is my reason, is that this holiday season, when you are thinking about opening your hearts and even your wallets for a charity or child in need, don't forget those children locked away for their parents sins. I know it's easy to forget them, the ones no one loves. But, they deserve your compassion.

They deserve Christmas too.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Call me Betty Crocker

I was making a homemade apple pie tonight, for the first time. Normally, I use Comstock filling and go with that.

Never Again.

After looking at many different directions, I couldn't figure what was best, and decided to wing and it try doing it myself. Apparently DH has decided it's like sex in his mouth. (He's not the most descriptive person.)

· 2 LARGE Granny Smiths

· 2 LARGE Jonathan Reds

· Peel/Core/Slice the apples and put them in a microwave safe bowl with lid.

· 1/2 cup of sugar

· 1/2 cup of water

· 1/4 and 2Tbsp of light corn syrup

· 2 Tbsp of corn starch

· 2 Tbsp of lemon juice

· 1/8 tsp of ginger

· 1/4 tsp (overflowing) of Cinnamon

Mix all ingredients in the bowl with the apples. Cover, place in microwave for 6 minutes, stopping to stir every two minutes until apples are soft and the filling is thick.

Apparently, we can't stay away from each other

So, after our TRU experience, we hit Target, and then headed home to split up. I still needed to get an item for Matt's birthday and Christmas, and he was going out to get mine. I took Chloe with me.

We headed to Hobby Lobby to get a small shadow box for his birthday present. He is really into the game Magic The Gathering. Yes, he is turning 33. Yes, I know he is a big dork. But, that aside, there apparently was a Pre-release promo card for the game that came out on our wedding date. With the date stamped on it. Like I said, I know he is a dork, and he has been so sad he didn't get it, that I bought one, MINT, and am putting it in a shadow box for his birthday.

Then we headed over to Walmart, because he had mentioned a tool box. Which apparently he was hallucinating about, since I didn't see it. We looked at RC cars and I was searching for a race track, when defeated I told Chloe let's just go to game stop and see what they had.

We had come in through the Garden Center, and looked at the trees there and then started walking out. When who do we run into? Matt. Of freaking course. He had just parked and was coming IN. Through the Garden Center. Where neither of us ever park and come it at.

After talking for a few minutes, I head out to the van, and as I am driving away, I realize that he was parked 1 car over from me, and neither of us had realized it.

We really can't go anywhere without each other.

Meredith, you really didn't want to keep your job, did you?

We went to TRU to return a purple play dress and matching shoes that we bought for Emily. I was hoping to use the money toward building blocks. We got a dress up kit for $19 on black friday, making the one we were returning redundant.

So, the problem was, I didn't have the receipt, but I though they would give me store credit. Apparently though, I am an idiot who doesn't check the return policy. They do not do store credits at TRU. They only give cash back with the receipt, or return it to the card that it was bought with. I didn't check this, and didn't realize it.

So, we walk up to the customer service counter and I explain that we didn't have the receipt and that we would take store credit. To which this rude bitch huffs and says "Read the return policy, we don't do that!" and rolls her eyes. She then says she can give it back on the card. We say ok, and we hand over the card we paid for it on. She swiped the card and said "I don't see no transactions." Hands us back the card and pushes our stuff out of the way. Apparently, they can check to see if there are transactions from your card in their system, as she didn't even look at the items I was returning.

I, at this point wasn't too nice myself, grabbed my dress and asked if there was anything else we could do about it. Her response? "I don't have to deal with this shit today."

So, this is why I needed corporates number. We didn't get to return anything. Whatever. Stupid bitch. The person I talked to seemed very helpful and apologized up and down the wall.

I understand the holidays are crazy and people are crappy, but at least you have a fucking job.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Merry Christmas, but I think I'll miss this one this year...

Subject: Company Christmas Party...

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 12, 2009

RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,


Company Memo


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November13, 2008

RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,


Company Memo


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 16, 2008

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?


And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.


Company Memo


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To: All Employees

DATE: November16, 2008

RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House canhold off on serving your meal until the end of the partyor else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress,the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?! ?


Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All F*%^ing Employees

DATE: November 17, 2008

RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The B*tch from H*ll!!!

Company Memo

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: November 17, 2008

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!


Christmas Deals Will Be The Death Of Me

We have all the presents wrapped, except the ones from Santa. And since Santa is bringing Emily the unexpected present of the Disney Princess Dress Up Box, that I just couldn't pass up when they were on sale for $19, I do have to return a purple princess dress and matching shoes we were going to give her. Which I am not too upset about, since I really want to get her some wooden building blocks.

But then, today, while searching for a gift for Matt, I came across a deal for 2 Nintendo DS games for $20.00. And of course, two games that Chloe wants were on it. Matt just rolled his eyes, but agreed it was a great deal, and we shouldn't pass it up, since those same games, used, cost $15+

I really need to stay off the internet. Or at least love our Keep The Change with the bank that covers this.

The Librarian Has The Hots For Me

Or so Matt thinks. Apparently, when two girls start gushing over books, and the awesome librarian starts putting books on hold for your spouse, so she can enjoy them as much as the librarian does, it means she wants to sleep with your wife.

Apparently, our discussion over the Sookie Stackhouse novels was what tipped him off. Something about how excited we both got when talking about the characters. Especially Eric. Yummy blonde viking. (both the book character as well as Alexander Skarsgard)

But that aside, I think I love her too! When she saw the books I was checking out, she ran and got another book in a series that she loves, because she knew I would like it too. Then the books I was having put on hold since they were all checked out? Guess who has them? That's right. She does. LoL. She's says they'll be back by Saturday.

So, shout out to the Librarian at our local branch. You are awesome, and super helpful.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Then there is taking "fandom" too far...

But, at least it's not on my tree!

I am going to buy some wooden boxes, paint them in Carolina Panthers colors, to place under the "tree".

OMG I have issues

I keep seeing spots on the tree that I can improve on, so I went to Hobby Lobby, bought 6 more gold balls ($2.50) and a bunch more wooden ornaments to paint (3.00= .25 a piece).

Ugh. I am happy to have the crafts to do, but irritated at myself for not letting things be! I bought some present shapes, snowmen, gingerbreads, and some christmas trees.

I need stronger meds.

Monday, November 30, 2009

It's finally mine

In the past, I have never had a Christmas Tree of my own. I have always had what someone else wanted, or come to some twisted compromise of what I thought was beautiful, and what they thought was cool.

Hence ending up with a tree like this:


But this year, I told Matt that I was changing the color scheme. Which he was surprisingly OK with. It actually shocked me how easy he went with it, but I am sure that it had a lot to do with the fact that I was going to make the majority of the ornaments myself. And I did. Over the past month, I have been busting my ass on the ornaments, and honestly?

I will probably redo them next year. It turns out, I want them to be perfect, so any change in that adjustment is going to drive me insane. But for this year, they are absolutely beautiful, and then only thing my tree is missing is the gold beads strung around. Maybe next year.

As for Matt and the girls? They are in love with the tree. Matt never wants to change the color scheme he was once so skeptical about.

Though, he still has his doubts over the tree topper. He wanted a traditional topper, that sat on top, like an Angel. I wanted a teddy bear who just made the top few branches his own personal lounger. I would like to think we made a wonderful compromise.


Tomorrow I will be featuring Matt's "Panther" tree.

Pink Trees and Blue Balls

Today we hit up Walmart again. This time to find a star for the girls pink tree. They love having their very own tree in their bedroom corner. And I love having a place for all of their beautiful handmade ornaments. For $15, it's not an ugly little tree!

So, we go out, and the stuff for little trees is pretty cheap. We found a glittery star for $2, and Emily asked to buy some balls. Matt was trying to steer her toward the silver balls, but my darling sweet Emily had to pick the color SHE wanted the most.

And proceeded to sing on the way out of Walmart: "I got Blue Balls. Mommy and Daddy gave me Blue Balls..."

And mommy and daddy hung their heads in shame. Currently there is a giant blue tree skirt around their tree from our old colors. Matt wants a Panthers tree really bad, so he is plotting to go back and buy the blue one to put on our little side table in the living room. As long as he doesn't touch my tree, I don't think I can really complain.


Sunday, November 29, 2009

THINK PINK! Christmas Style...

The girls now have their very own Christmas Tree!



Saturday, November 28, 2009


Disconnected from everything. I am sure he is trying, but then, why do I feel like crying all of the time? I think there is something wrong with me. Shouldn't I still be in newlywed glow? I keep hearing that people stay in that stage for months. It's been two months and two days, and I am sitting her on my couch staring at my Christmas tree wondering how much worse I will feel tomorrow.

He kissed me goodbye yesterday before heading to the guys. It was the first time he had really touched me since the 13th. No, I am not joking. Oh, he tried to play up the loveyness while we were at his mothers for Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't fake it. If you aren't going to show me at home, don't try and fake it elsewhere. My fragile sense of mind can't handle it right now.

I don't even think that he realizes that I keep pushing him out of the house to his friends more and more often, just so he's out of the house. At least when he's not here, the lack of attention doesn't feel so strong.

I don't know what happened in 2 short months. What happened to us. Before the wedding, I loved being with him, our sex life was wonderful, our friends faked throwing up over our closeness (Well, Jeff did). And now? I lay in bed right next to him and feel as if there is a great valley between us. Even on nights we didn't have sex, he always reached out to hold me, and now? I am generally lucky if he's even in the bed. If I am trying to fall asleep before him, he comes out into the living room to watch tv and falls asleep on the couch.

I don't know, maybe this all started with my insomnia, with my screwed up dreams, with him putting that stupid 360 in the bedroom after I asked him not too. I just feel unwanted, unloved, and bitchier by the day. And if I bring up how I am feeling, it's all my fault because I am a bitch. It doesn't matter that I am getting meaner and meaner with every second that goes by that I am being ignored. And I am in the wrong for that, I know, but I can't seem to stop myself. And he just laughs off my comments about how our sex life disappeared. About how I feel ugly, fat, and unwanted. By my own husband.

And the sad thing? Even after all of this, I don't think he realizes that anything is wrong.

Friday, November 27, 2009


Today was spent buying paints and shopping. I am making some wooden stars for the Christmas tree, and realizing that I have a whole bunch of homemade ornaments even from last year, where I painted a few Christmas balls. Matt and I have decided that we are going to buy a 3 foot pink tree from Walmart for the girls to put in their room with ornaments that they make. I know they will love it.

We also let the girls pick out their yearly ornaments for the big tree. Emily picked out a purple bell, while Chloe picked a pink convertible. So her. After we left Hobby Lobby (yes, I do live there), we came home for lunch and naptime.

Of course, this is when the events of the earlier entry took place, so let's fast forward.

We headed out to our favorite Christmas Tree lot. They are family owned, have AWESOME trees, and great prices. They also value their customers, because every year they send out a card giving you 10% off of the tree. They do a hay ride (FREE) for the kids and even have a sled out for the kids to sit in and get their picture taken in. It's such a wonderful place.

Christmas trees and I have a funny thing between us. Every year I say that we are going to wait to buy the tree, and yet every year I buy it either on or the day after, Thanksgiving. I can't help myself.

And this year, I really really love our tree.

Except for the fact, it's crooked. They cut the base at an angle, which is irritating, but Matt can fix that. I can't wait to decorate the tree!


(this is my living room after we got all the Christmas stuff out of the attic!)

And the crooked Christmas tree:


Men are useless

Matt and I decided to try and fix the trunk door on the van, which was not unlatching. This involves removing the entire back panel on the inside. Once we got it fixed, we took a break. I mean, it's kind of tiring taking off and entire back panel, when you have to keep saying "No Matt, just let me do it".

I came in before he did, he had the keys and wanted to mess some more. I was cold and the kids needed to take a nap after their lunch (Chloe does quiet time with a book). While I was doing this, he came in, with the keys, and went to the bathroom, put up the milk, eggs, and eggnog, and then set on the couch.

After a while, we decided to put the van back together again, so I went to grab the keys from where he "put them". They were not there. He rolled his eyes and said that of course they were, I just wasn't looking. He comes over, they are not there. He retraces his footsteps.

No keys.

I tell him to check the couch while I check the fridge, the girls bathroom, and the bedroom.

No keys.

He checks under the couch, behind the tv, and in the cushions while I head outside to scour the van.

No Keys.

At this point we are both getting angry. He goes through the trash in the kitchen and both bathrooms, while I go through all the dirty clothes.

No Keys.

We sit down to eat lunch before starting to look again, but we still can't find them, and we go out to put the van together, I mean, at least we still have the spare set until we find them. We just won't be able to use the remote access.

After we put everything back together, and I am getting the house ready for us to leave to go get our Christmas Tree, something tells me to check the couch cushions one more time, as I hadn't done it myself.

Oh My God. Keys.

Under the first damn cushion I lift.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

I have been baking since Tuesday Night

And I am finally done. Matt can throw the two casseroles in the oven while I shower tomorrow. We have 2 Thanksgiving dinners to attend tomorrow. My MIL's and my sisters. No offense to my MIL, but I am most excited to be spending Thanksgiving with my sister. It's been a long time, and plus, this will be the opportunity for my nephew to spit up on me again.

No, seriously. Every.Single.Time. Last time he even pooped on me. I think if some type of bodily fluid doesn't get on me, my feelings will be hurt. (watch him pee in my eye this time)

Now that the bodily fluids are done... What have I been baking/cooking since Tuesday? Cookies, two 3 layer chocolate cakes, fresh rolls and corn bread muffins, Green bean casserole, and two macaroni and cheese casseroles. It's 2:26am and I am just now finishing up.

Of course, this two day cooking doesn't take into account the 2 pumpkin fluffs that I made. 1 for my nephews birthday party and 1 for Chloe's class party. Along with a loaf of pumpkin bread for her class party. And a cookie pie, just to try out the recipe.

So, here are the "fruits" of my Thanksgiving labor. Everything I make is pure homemade:

My cookies:

1 of the cakes I baked:

Dinner Rolls (first time I have ever made these!) I hope they reheat well.

Corn Bread Muffins. I can do these with my eyes closed:

Green Bean Casserole. This is the second time I have ever made this. Matt said a few years ago, the one I made was awful. I was crushed. Cross your fingers! I am putting on the crispy onions and baking in the AM:

One of the Mac and Cheese casseroles (baked mac and cheese)Will bake in the AM:

What my kitchen table looked like this morning:

And here is what happens when you have left over chocolate frosting and two extra cookies you don't need and your husband wants to play with the leftover royal icing in the piping bag:

Yes. That's a cookie sandwich.