Saturday, October 31, 2009

Trick or Treat!

Tonight we went downtown to TOT. Which was fun, but possibly a mistake as well. See, I want my girls to experience REAL trick or treating, not just the mall version, so hitting up the houses at dusk, leaves scattered on the ground, and chainsaws roaring SEEMED like a good idea. But I apparently forgot my girls are chickens!

Chloe was "Miss Behavior". A cute little "jail" outfit with broken cuffs. I did makeup to look like a black eye. She was hilarious. She refused to smile for almost all the pictures, because she wanted to look tough!

Afterwards, we went to Matt's friend Aarons house (my friend too). His house is awesome. He goes all out for Halloween.

Emily got one of his eyeballs

And then we went to eat at Los Arcos. Our yearly post trick or treating ritual. Chloe was sad it was the end. Emily was happy!

All in all it was a wonderful night. I am exhausted now!

10 years ago today

I generally don't remember until a few days after, but today for some reason it popped in early. Every year around this time I get really really bitchy. And sad. And depressed. Why? It seems that from now until January, only bad things have happened to me my entire life. Every single awful thing that has happened has been in the months between mid October and January. Most recently being the restraining order I had to get last year on my mother. And then some private group things this year.

But I digress. 10 years ago today, my first love broke up with me. By instant messaging no less. He broke my heart. Took years to get over. Sad isn't it? I have only loved two men in my life and I married one of them and wouldn't trade him for anything. Yet, I still remember this day, and I don't think I will ever forget it.

Jason was my Edward Cullen. The person my world revolved around. The sun and moon set with him. And while most people forget everything surrounding a horrible breakup, I remember every single detail of my life for the next few months afterwards with remarkable clarity. How I sometimes wish I didn't. Because remembering it means I remember the nightmares and pain as well. I wasn't joking when I said he was my own personal Edward Cullen.

He is married now. With a daughter. Time seems to fly by so fast. 10 years. Really? Have I aged that much? I know this much, as much pain as it caused, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Because of that, I set off down a path that led to my 2 beautiful little girls, and to the man that loves me and would never hurt me. A man I love with all of my heart. I feel pretty lucky. And maybe that's why I can remember this day and smile now.

...but when *I* do it, it's not ok?

I am sick of double standards. I am sick of being told I just need to get over and forgive people. How much am I supposed to take before I am allowed to break?

I was recently hurt by someone I thought was a friend, only to find out, she never really considered me a friend in the first place. Talk about a blow to the back of the head. I had hurt over this person, and spent hours trying to figure out if everything was OK with this person, only to hear that they were just not close to me at all. I lost it, I was very controlled in how I lost it, but people will never understand that.

I probably went through the 7 stages of grief on that one pretty fast. Anger was right up there. Acceptance? Maybe I should have handled it better than the "hairflip" everyone felt it was. Which to me, it wasn't. It was an actual gut reaction to something that pretty much woke me up. Woke me up to the fact that just because I consider someone my friend doesn't mean that they feel the same, and I need to start keeping my lifes better separated, or I risked getting hurt like that again. And I'm not going to do that.

But apparently, it's not OK for *ME* to do that. It's freaking fine and dandy for the rest of the free world, but I think I am supposed to be a saint? Not allowed to be hurt or angry? Not allowed to feel separated from people?

All in all this experience has taught me one really important fact: I need to rely on only myself, because everyone else will eventually show their true colors. And they are not that pretty, and they don't really give a shit about how YOU feel. And I need to remember to keep myself closed. I don't like being hurt. Because in the end, it wasn't just one "friend", it was almost all of them.

I alone.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Parent/Teacher meeting

Pretty much uneventful. They keep saying they are going to come up with an individualized lesson plan for her, but nothing yet. Just my child getting more and more bored with school. Which is not a good thing, and which we broke down for her today. The first 9 weeks are up and all I keep hearing is "it's mostly just review right now"

Well, when the hell does review end? And when can I really step in and complain without coming across as that bitch mother? I don't know what to do, or where the line is so I don't step over.

After the meeting we took her to the library. Which is Heaven to her. She walked out with books and a sparkle in her eye. Spent the rest of the day with her head buried in them. What mom could complain?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Why I love my husband

It's no secret I feel like crap today. Stupid cold. I am living off of cough drops, just to keep my voice.

This morning, the alarm went off to get the kids dressed for school. I hit snooze. Apparently, I also turned it off. So, 1.5 hours later, when I awoke at 7:30, I was a little panicked. The bus had left 20 minutes earlier, so one of us had to run her to school. I made their breakfast, and tied the bows on the cookies, ready to just crumble to the floor.

My hero of the day gets up, without pitching a fit, or whining, and takes her to school. He then even takes the little one to preschool, walking her inside instead of just dropping her off in carpool, so he can walk my cookies in.

The, after going BACK out to pick her up, he runs out to Burger King, since my mommy friends had me craving french fries. When they filled the frypod up only half way, he didn't leave until they made it right. Just because he knew how much my fries meant to me.

Then, he went and picked Chloe up from school early, came back to get Emily, all to take them to their wellcheck appointment that I am too sick to take them to myself.

If I wasn't so sick... He would be a very happy man tonight. I love him. He's my hero.

I cut Snow Whites hair just for Halloween

I took Emily out at 6:30 last night to get her hair cut, just for Halloween. I have been wanting it done, and to go with her Snow White costume at school today seemed to be the perfect excuse. We even went drastic and got bangs. Which might take a while to truly grow on me. I am just not a bang person, but Emi's hair is so fine, it seemed like a good idea.

Here is Snow White!


Boo Cookies

This is my first attempt at giving people my cookies. It's just a free cookie, given to Chloe and Emilys school friends, but a part of me is still nervous about what people will say about them.

I am so neurotic.


Monday, October 26, 2009

1 month into marriage and I hollowed out his head

Halloween is here, and yet, I barely see the signs of it in stores. Thanksgiving doesn't even exist anymore, except maybe to the turkeys that are killed each year. Christmas is out in full force. In Hobby Lobby, I completely forgot what time of year it is, as I was transported to Santas freaking playground. I got totally sucked in. I was walking down an aisle when I suddenly turned to Matt and said "Halloween is on Saturday." At that exact moment 6 other people lost that dazed look, shook their heads, and looked around in shock.

We carved our pumpkins today. Chloe wanted Kuromi, from Hello Kitty. Though, I have no idea how to make a pumpkin Goth. Emily on the other hand, wanted Hello Kitty. The pumpkins are carved exactly the same, yet, somehow, by the grace of God, they don't realize it and are happy with what they got.


Matt realized he just might be allergic to pumpkin:

He wound up sneezing his brains out

The pumpkin Family along with Mine:

Suddenly, that WOOT shirt is more terrifying than before....

The Irritation of Tina

People are driving me up the freaking wall.  To the point, I just don't want to answer the phone and/or block them from my Facebook.  Apparently, Father knows best isn't just a TV show, but at least back in the TV shows days, they understood the importance of staying home with the kids. 

It doesn't seem to translate into 2009 though, where every time my father calls me or sends me a message, it involves some type of "get a job" message. 

Suffering through insomnia?  Get a Job.
Baking Cookies? Get a Job
Getting the kids ready for school?  Get a Job
Tired?  Get a Job
Christmas Shopping?  Get a Job
Socializing with friends?  You need to get a job!

Apparently, I am a non productive member of society since I don't pay taxes.  Sorry dad, I'm not Sarah Palin.  Don't want to be.  Maybe if she had stayed home, she wouldn't have a teenage daughter with a child, ever think about that?

I am being a productive member of society.  Raising my children.  I'm sorry you can't see that, and don't understand the concept, but this is my job.  And I am happy, shouldn't that be enough?  Why is that hard for you to grasp?

Sunday, October 25, 2009


I wonder how many of my family members just read that and their hearts stopped and the breath was swept from their lungs?

I was on the BBC Twilight board today, where someone had posted a link to some really cool maternity shirts. Now, that's not generally enough to make me want to go get knocked up and suddenly be 20lbs heavier. Though, Matt recently saw a Panthers shirt, and I know it crept through his mind.

Well, I guess you can say that THIS is my Carolina Panthers shirt.

I am such a Twihard Freak.

"one minute I was bruised and covered in feathers, and the next? Just look at me!"

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Woot has terrified me more than any horror movie

My online friend Sugar Pants posted a link to what she called the best Woot description ever. I admit, I snorted as I went over, prepared for some lame ass description.

What I read there, will possibly give me nightmares.


6 little pink elephants

1 by 1, dancing in a row... I didn't sleep for over 27 hours. Finally, at 1:00pm today, I was able to lay down and get some sleep.

And of course, my smoke alarms start going insane, for no reason what so ever, at 2:30. I actually got a little psycho, drug a chair into the living room and started beating the crap out of it with a broom. Little bastard just laughed at me.

So, once again, I am awake.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Why I can't clean the damn house

I want the ugly blue chair gone. Goodwill will take it, but apparently it's still sitting in the playroom. I just said "why don't you load that blue chair up and drop it off?" He just looked at me with a blank expression. I can't start doing anything until it's gone. Because I can't move it. I am not able bodied enough. And if it doesn't leave the house, it will wind up sitting in my living room. Hell no.

It's not all bad, he's heading to the store to pick up my tampon, so yes, I might be a little bitchy. And snappy. And down right horrible to even ask a question without snapping right now. But I want the fucking chair gone. I want to strip down the playroom, spread baking soda, vacuum, and then attack it with the bissel steamer. After that, I want to take over the world. I mean, the rest of the house.

So, stop watching some stupid mobster documentary and get thee to the fucking store!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Screw you GPS. Screw you to hell

I loved my GPS. We were inseparable. Where ever I went, GPS went. It was the best of times, which today turned to the worst of times.

Apparently, in the town the preschools school trip was, there are two roads, on separate sides of town, with the exact same address, with the exact same zip code. Or so says my GPS. Because when we got the the first "version" it said we had arrived to a bump in the road. No, I am not kidding. There was no road to even turn on with this roads name.

Eventually we got to where we were going, albeit, 25 minutes late. Luckily, it wasn't an issue. It was pumpkin patch day! Matt, Emily, and I had a blast. Even on the Hay Ride, which was sans the hay. Just benches. We each got a pumpkin, and Emi is already begging to carve it. Definitely my child. Likes taking knifes after things.

Pumpkin Patch Pilgrims! They had a petting zoo as well, with Buffalo, goats, miniature horses, turkeys, chickens, and even a baby cow. I want to kidnap the baby cow.

Me and Emily on the "hay" ride

After picking our pumpkins, we went to the Sunflower field

Daddy Matt and Emily

I think a Youtube video just got me pregnant.

Or just gave me a super intense orgasm.

SuperFan of Billy Corgan: Check!
SuperFan of Supernatural: Check!

Obviously Not a Bargain Hunter!

Why did I spend so much money on my wedding cake? I was looking for something to entertain my sleepy mind this morning and stumbled over to Wedninator, where I stumbled on the gloriousness that is a hostess snack cake wedding cake. Come on, tell me, which would you rather eat?


See, I knew it. That Hostess goodness looks so much more yummy than mine. I could have saved HUNDREDS!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Lost in Translation?

If Jen from Cake Wrecks showcased homemade wrecks, and this was a cake, I would wind up on that blog in 10 seconds flat. Luckily, I have a sense of humor, and I think I could handle it. THINK.

A friend of mine, Alexis, gave me her sugar cookie and royal icing recipe today, so I decided to try my novice hand at making sugar cookies. Originally, I was just going to put cinnamon and sugar on top, but Kara began salivating, so I decided to drive her completely insane with the icing. Let's see if it takes her the full 45 to get to my house? (GPS Kara, GPS!)

I have been working on these for hours. I started making them at 6pm. What time is it now? 10:48. It's called life. Tends to get in the way. Anyway, you don't care about that! You want to see my wrecktastic cookies!


So, here we have stoner pumpkin, redneck pumpkin, wannabe vampire pumpkin. There is also a few "I don't give a damn" and happy pumpkins


Monday, October 19, 2009

Snug as a bug in a....

Princess blanket?

Uh oh. I think I started something. And once you start, kids become easily addicted to it. One night as a joke, I tightly wrapped Emily up and declared her "snug as a bug in a rug!". I didn't think anything of it, but here we are, a week later, and she even demands it for naptimes.

All of which leads to hassle when she gets up for a drink of water or to pee because she wants to be snuggled right back up! Grrr! I have finally decided to set a 1 snuggle per night rule. Let's see how long that lasts.


At some point, you have to say "WTF?"

I was reading an article on Yahoo, about kitchen gadgets that are just stupid, and a link led me here, and to this disgusting egg separator.

Apparently, you crack the eggs into Peter Petries head, and the white separates from the yolk. How does it do this you ask? Well, keep scrolling.

Yep. You guessed it. Apparently, Peter "sneezes" it out, just in time for cold and flu season.

Oh, that wasn't close enough to give you a good visual? Here you go!

Yummy. Eggs. Who's hungry? No one? Really? Well why not? I think I'll stick to my grandmothers way of separating the yolk.

It's Eskimo Season

It's freezing outside. No, that's not a figure of speech this morning. It's actually freezing. As in 32 or below. Frost on the cars, ground, and my fingertips.

Chloe still demands to ride the school bus with her friends, but has refused to wear her "big puffy pink jacket" on the grounds that she hates it cause it's just not cool enough. There's an oxymoron. However, she is willing to wear TWO jackets together, like the other kids.

Rather than fight this, I find it easier to just pick my battles, and say fine, but I pick the jackets. She's fine with this. She looks like an eskimo.

(ETA: apparently, my camera doesn't recognize that the dates changes at midnight)

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Bread Butts back in style

Fresh out of the oven and already one loaf halfway gone. Granted, I might have eaten 2 slices myself. This is so much better than grocery store brand. No offense Arnolds. You were the best of the grocery store. The NO HFCS sold me on you. And on days that I don't feel like baking, I will be picking you up.

I baked my first loafs of bread today. I tried one recipe, but it left no doubt in my mind that it was going to suck. Still, I stuck in the oven to rise for an hour. I made another bread recipe from Fleischmanns as well, and this one rose like a champ. The first recipe landed itself in the garbage, before I even tried to bake it. It didn't even rise.

I don't really know what the issue was. The first recipe was almost exactly the same. Actually, it WAS the same. But it was also for half the amount of of dough. I don't know if cutting the recipe doesn't work, but I am thinking that it might have been the issue. Either way, I am sticking with Fleishmanns. Here is the recipe that I used:

Makes 2 Loaves
5-1/2 to 6 cups all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons sugar
2 envelopes FLEISCHMANN'S RapidRise OR Active Dry Yeast
2 teaspoons salt
1-1/2 cups water
1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
If using Active Dry Yeast:
Place 1/4 cup warm water (100° to 110°F) in a large warm bowl. Sprinkle in yeast and 1 teaspoon sugar; stir. Let sit 5 to 10 minutes, until foamy on top. Add remaining water, milk, butter, sugar, salt and 4 cups flour. Mix well using the medium speed of an electric mixer, scraping bowl occasionally. Stir in enough remaining flour to make a soft dough. Knead on lightly floured surface until smooth and elastic, about 8 to 10 minutes. Place in a greased bowl, turning once to grease top. Cover; let rise in a warm, draft-free place until doubled in size, about 45 to 60 minutes.
Punch dough down. Divide dough in half. Roll each half to 12 x 7-inch rectangle. Beginning at short end of each rectangle, roll up tightly as for jelly roll. Pinch seams and ends to seal. Place, seam sides down, in greased 8-1/2 x 4-1/2 inch loaf pans. Cover; let rise in warm, draft free place until doubled in size, about 45 minutes.
Bake at 400°F for 25 to 30 minutes or until done. Remove from pans; cool on wire rack.
To Make Whole Wheat Bread: Substitute 2 cups whole wheat flour for part of all-purpose flour.

And here is my result:



A Liberals View On Food Stamps

I'm so liberal, I am practically a socialist, and this is enough to drive my father to drink. (just ask him!)

On my mommy boards lately, food stamps have been brought up numerous times, just in time for the holidays. What is or what is not acceptable to buy with food stamps? What's the most extravagant thing that you have bought with your food stamps? Are you a welfare queen for wanting to feed your child? Should you use food stamps to impress people at a birthday party?

I sometimes think that conservatives take things to far. "OMG, that woman was driving a CAR and bought MILK with FOOD STAMPS! Bitch is milking the system with MY TAX DOLLARS!" Yeah, no, I am not joking. I hear this at least once a week.

Then, there is the other side of the coin where people are bragging about buying lobsters with their food stamps and claim that the people that are pissed about it are just jealous they can't have lobster too.

Um, no, you can't. Sorry. But it's people like YOU who make the people who really need it look bad. People that brag about all the "free" food they can afford, just because they qualify. It's not free. Someone, somewhere is paying for it, while you abuse it. The amount of food that one lobster could buy is staggering.

It's YOU who make the mom who struggles to to turn things around feel like scum while paying with her EBT card at the cashier, the mother whose face turns shades of red wondering if people are judging her because she sucked up her pride just to feed her family.

But then, people who abuse the system don't see that mom. They are too busy turning their noses up at society and saying "so, don't be jealous I qualify and you don't"

To those moms who use food stamps, I want to commend you for putting your children ahead of your pride. Making sure your children are taken care of makes you a good mother, no matter what the person behind you in line thinks, no matter what a judgmental mom on the internet says. You are being a GOOD MOM.

For those who stock their carts with overpriced steaks, lobsters each week never use coupons, and have never bought store brand? Keep it up. And don't get pissed when you hear the mom behind you calling you a bitch. You are.

Evil Family Gone Crazy

I don't know what possessed me to take the girls outside in the cold today, but I did, for some old fashioned family fun. Fun that is not allowed to take place in the house. Playdoh fun. During playdoh fun time some strange things happened.

First, Chloe debated eating Emily's brains

Then Chloe learned to put on lipstick and grew a unibrow

After that, I decided to give her a black eye

Then all hell broke loose when Daddy joined the fun, and they all decided to kill each other.

After daddy left to go watch the Panthers game with his friends, we ran around the yard to catch the dog for dinner.

But the girls were hungry, so I didn't get the chance to cook first

After all that we came in and I made fresh hot cocoa and fried bologna and cheese. It's naptime now, Mommy needs it!