Sunday, May 23, 2010

Stupid Things We Never Forget

Trying to iron my hair with an actual iron. No seriously. I tried to flat iron my hair with an actual iron that you iron clothes with. I really didn't get what it meant to "iron" your hair, and all of my older housemates were telling me if I didn't like the curl, I should iron it out. At the tender, stupid, age of 13. I was smart enough at least to realize that I shouldn't put a hot iron directly on my fragile hair and tried to hold back the damaging heat with a towel. I burnt the back of my neck and received two burn mark lines on the side of my forehead before I called the experiment quits.

There are a million idiotic, stupid, asinine, things that I have done in my history on Earth, yet somehow, that one is the one that stands out. (Next to all the stupid boy mistakes I made) It reminds me of when I started cooking. How I was naive and burnt everything I tried. Instead of chalking it up to trial and error, I just didn't try again for years. Both with flat ironing my hair and cooking.

I started cooking again when I had to living with my mother. She was too drunk and if I didn't cook, we wouldn't eat. However, they were still simple meals. Basic spaghetti, tacos, grilled chicken. Nothing the least bit stressful. I didn't feel good about it though. If my stepfather knew it was me who cooked, he talked about how awful the food was. If I lied and said my mother did it, it was the best thing in the world. A few times I would tell him afterward that it was really me, and he would respond that he was being nice earlier, that something tasted off. I killed my cooking esteem. And I wouldn't allow myself to try anything remotely complicated.

Then I met Matt. All I wanted to do was impress him. So, I pulled all of my skills together and made...... MEATLOAF AND MASHED POTATOES. That's right. I cooked the most simplistic way to get to a mans heart. Meat and potatoes. I actually pulled it off too! I was surprised and excited. It lead to more complicated meals (for me), such as Chicken Parmesan! I didn't have time or the energy to make anything actually complicated. Work, kids, cooking for my stepfather to insult, it didn't leave room for creativity.

When Matt and I first moved in together, we ate out a lot. Pretty much every night. I just didn't have the energy to cook. After a while, we realized it was best for me to stay home (I guess we can thank my alcoholic mom for something!). Cooking became my way to stay busy and creative. Not all meals have been good, but they haven't all been horrible either. It's Matt who gave me the courage to try,, and that's what matters to me. I was terrified of failure, yet, he was excited to try it all. No matter how strange it sounded. I think everyone needs that kind of encouragement.

Oh, I finally bought a decent flat iron from Sallys. I do an awesome job at making my hair straight now. I still grimace when I have to iron though.

1 comment:

Coltonsmommy09 said...

Love the story. Glad Matt is there to taste all your cooking. I too have the desire to branch out in the cooking department but my fiance is bland, he likes what he likes and rarely tries something new.