First Cake In Over A Year...

It's been a while since the great cake disaster of 2010, the incident that made me switch to cookies. That made me swear I hated all cakes. But then, two friends came calling, asking for MY help. And I decided to put my hatred of all things cake aside and to pick up my pastry bag and try again! I am woman, hear me DECORATE!

Apparently, someone forgot to tell my pastry bag that it's not polite to lose your load with a massive explosion half way through the first cake. It took all my willpower not to throw in the towel right then. Only the thought of two little girls without birthday cakes kept me going. Oh, and the fear of being a banned girl scout. ;)

So, I did what I could to fix and kept going. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to be there to see the other moms face, but I hear she loved it. I hope so.

I Like To Buck The System

Prom Night Wisdom From Foster Father: "If a guy buys you steak or lobster, he expects you to put out"

What I Did: Ordered steak AND lobster. Went home still a virgin.

Like I said, I like to buck the system.

Introducing Baby Yoshi!

Holy Crap!

Heaven has Wi-Fi!

I've Reached My Boredom Peak

Please enjoy any and all Lols I post.

All Hail Butter?

I'm Really Scared

I have a follow up ultrasound on Monday. 9:30am. I am terrified they won't see a baby again. I keep reading all this stuff that says you should see the fetal pole at 6 weeks. I was measuring 6weeks, 2days. They said everything looked normal, except for the lack of the baby. I've been trying to put off thinking about it all week, but I can't say it hasn't been affecting me. I keep trying to prepare myself for the worst, and in that, all I think of is the worst.

Move Over Kate, William is MINE!

Or at least according to my dreams he is. Honestly, I don't understand half my dreams, and this one definitely went from weird to nightmare pretty fast.

OK, so apparently, William and I met before he married Kate. The entire world thought he was marrying her, but it was really me, someone the world hadn't seen before? (huh?) Oh, along with my kids too of course (No reason why my husband hasn't tried to object to this or anything) So, William and I get married in a super secret ceremony in America, and the next night is a ball in his honor. So, I need to get ready.

Strangely, no one thought to find someone to do my hair and nails, or even find me a dress. Which sent me scouring the stores (JCPenney, Belk, Walmart? Seriously, ballgowns at Walmart?) I even missed my daughters recital (what recital would Liz have?) because they were shellacking my nails and having me try on dresses. If anything, I fell in love with my hair.

That quickly turned into us driving across a lake in normal clothes. We were going over a bridge, and I noticed a plane had crashed in the lake, and the people were being rescued. Right after that, there was a billboard for the plane company. I need to point out that at this point, William looked like my husband.

All of the sudden we are in the lake. My husband (now played by Joel McHale of Community and The Soup) has a vision, where he sees a boat running into and killing these girls. He looks out, and there is the girl and the boat. He yells for her to get out of the way, so she starts swimming, but apparently the person driving the boat hears him too, and he's an evil Abe Lincoln. He heads the boat to mow the group of girls down.

The girls run to Joel McHale for help, and he asks what's wrong with them, and then watches them drown. Evil Abe Lincoln gets down from his boat, and walks up to Joel McHale, only to touch his tongue to Joel McHales nose and lips.

Then I woke up, and I'm not going back to sleep just yet. Gee. Wonder why?

Things That Terrify A Pregnant Mother

The phrase "threatened miscarriage"
The diagnosis of "Subchorionic Hematoma"
The Ultrasound showing a great 6 week, 2 day sack, but no pole.

Things that terrify a father:

Being told your wife is on pelvic and light bed rest.

Watcha Doin?

Eatin' chocolate.

Where'd you get it?

Doggy dropped it.

My daughters latest and greatest joke. And I have a habit of saying "Hey Liz, whatcha doing?" all the damn time. So once it starts... It's the joke that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends. Some idiot started asking, not knowing what came next...

I changed my appointment to June 1. Forever away, I KNOW! But when I scheduled it for May 25th, I had forgotten that it's the day after Emi's preschool graduation, and her last chance to hit this really cool animal farm that has giraffes you can pet and all that. So, I couldn't deny her that. She's so excited. So is Matt for that matter!

I'm bloated and crampy. I feel like you do right before you start your period, but as if my period should have shown up 6 weeks ago. I think we block out the bad parts of having a baby, don't we?

Baby Yoshi is craving some strange stuff. I ate two spoonfuls of peanut butter. HUGE spoonfuls. When my husband jokingly said "at least you didn't mix it with pickles", my eyes lit up. Now I want peanut butter pickles. The usual strawberry milkshakes with mcdonalds fries is always a hit with any future belly bump. And the bastards at McDonalds had to go and change their milkshakes. Thank God they still taste good.

Today we are stopping by Panera so I can get a broccoli soup bread bowl. I don't like broccoli soup. In fact, I hate broccoli. But what the baby decides sounds like heaven, mommy eats.

Already demanding stuff. Baby Yoshi is going to fit right in.

Happy Mothers Day

*From Post Secret

Want To Hear Me?

THIS IS ME!!!!

I am reading an excerpt from a Katie Macallister book, when Liz walks in to laugh at me.

Father Of Mine

I didn't see my father at all between the ages of 12-16. And then I saw him a total of twice, not to see him again until I was 18. When I was 12, he signed his rights over to the state.

We've had a rocky relationship since I was 18. I guess that's to be expected, but what he's doing now is just the icing on the cake. Lying to others about me? Telling me and everyone this pregnancy, that we planned, is a bad thing?

Goodbye. I'll no longer ask where you have been, father of mine.

Sniff Sniff :(

5 and a half years ago:

I Bet You Didn't Know...

That I'm pregnant. ;) Had my confirmation appointment yesterday. First prenatal is May 25th. So far, yet so close.

Yoshi

My husband is opposed to Peachlette. Apparently, it's not gender neutral enough. Silly man. To appease him though, we've gone with the supposedly gender neutral Yoshi? He has issues.




We'll get there.