I really did it!

Granted, I did ask my dad as we were walking up the aisle if I still had time to run. He said he would go grab the car.... :-)

My HUSBAND is currently upstairs in this condo sleeping. I could have sworn it was later than 8:30 when I finally crawled my sore self out of bed, but apparently, even on my own honeymoon I can't let myself sleep in. So no yelling at me for being online during my honeymoon people!

The wedding was wonderful. The entire day was supposed to be rainy, and I was getting married outside. Every where I went I asked people to pray that the rain would hold off. Right as the ceremony was supposed to start, the "rainy mist" that was happening all day, got a little heavier, so we held off for 10 minutes before starting, and it slowed slightly, and I decided that we were still going to marry outside, and not in the tent. And I am so glad that we did. That misty, foggy rain set the perfect mood for my outside wedding. I felt truly as if I were a fairy princess.

My daughters looked so beautiful walking up the aisle. Emily was grabbing handfuls of petals and THROWING them behind her, and I found out later, that Chloe? She was crying. She won't talk to me about it, but she told her Aunt Ashlei (my sister) that she was crying because she was happy.

Then, I walked out to Nothing Else Matters. Yes, a metallica song, played on the violin. I always wanted to do that, and I love that Matt understood. It took all the power I had not to cry when reading my vows to him. I couldn't look up, I would have burst into tears. And I am not the overly emotional type. (well, crying type. I am the overly quick to anger type)

We did pictures after the ceremony, got in the tent, and then the bottom fell out of the sky and the rain flowed. This is proof of the power of prayer. The ceremony was wonderful!!!! I loved it so much. There was only one snafu, and it will be fixed by refund when we get home. They didn't do our preset garden salad, and they only had one type of roll, instead of assorted. Other than that, the food was wonderful.

Being out there dancing, with my girls, my friends, my HUSBAND, my father, my sister, my cousins... It was the perfect dream come true for me. I am about to cry just thinking about it. How the hell did I get so lucky?

To Rosalie, Natalie, and Irish: I love you girls. Thank you so much for being there for me. To my sister: My hair looked so beautiful. I loved it. To all those that asked, YES!!!! It was all MY hair!!!!! LMAO.

To my husband: I love you. Wake up soon.

Wide Awake

I should be sleeping. Chloe is not going to school today, it's the day before the wedding. But I am not. I woke up at 6am, and the butterflies wouldn't let me return to sleep, despite the fact that I wanted to do so.

Tomorrow is the day. The day I have been planning for since December 14, 2009. Almost everything is ready. Rehearsal is tonight at 6pm. I have had a giant pimple pop up on my chin. Hopefully this spot treatment works. I can't be the first bride to get a pimple on her chin. Mary Kay better work wonders making me look flawless.

There isn't much more to write. Thoughts are flying through my head, but I can't put them into words right now.

I want to give special love to Rosalie, Natalie, and Irish. They are all traveling from far away to be here, with me, on this special day. I love you guys.

Wedding Dreams

I keep having horrible and strange wedding dreams. Last night, I was in my wedding dress, still in the brides room, when I found out that Matt had cheated on me and gotten her pregnant. The dilemma was sitting there, not knowing what I was going to do. At times, the dream switched to the chapel, where I saw everyone sitting down, Matt standing at the alter, and then back to me, feeling hurt, angry, and lost, unsure of what I was supposed to do next. I didn't go. Matt's mom screamed at me, Matt fell down in tears, I was in horrible pain.

Then somehow, I was on an elevator, that had 300 floors, and I was on floor 268. And the elevator kept going up and down, but never stopping on my floor. Anyone who knows how much I hate elevators, knows that this was hell for me.

Suddenly, I was in a dark house, with Matt. The wedding hadn't happened, and he wanted to talk to me, but suddenly, vampires were coming for us. Angel leading the way (Buffy anyone?) But this wasn't Angel Angel, it was Booth, playing Angel (Bones anyone?). Apparently, he was only pretending to help them, so he could help save us.

Then I woke up.

But after a night like that, you have to know that I was exhausted, so I went back to take a nap later, and it was back to just strange dreams, involving my godmother, Matt, my father, the wedding party... And being at a restaurant, where you were not allowed to bring you cell phone into. It wasn't scary, didn't seem to mean anything, but I was confused the entire time.

4 days and counting.

3:42am

GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!

3:43AM

My Vows

Matt and I are writing our own vows. Here are mine:

I used to be afraid of falling in love, of giving my heart away.
How could I trust a man to love me,
to give to me all that I wanted to give to him?
And then I met you. You who loved me no matter what I said or did,
No matter how hard I pushed, or how hard I pulled away. You stood by me, showing me that there is real love in this world. That the right person would stand by you no matter what, in good times, in bad, in sickness, in health. Today I stand before you, to make the vow to be that person for you as well. I love you Matt, and vow to be the woman you need me to be, the wife that will love you, the friend who will be by your side no matter what life may throw our way. I will be the strength when you feel weak. You are the half that makes me whole. For that I am thankful.

Just Breathe

Remember that movie Ever After? Where Danielle (Drew Barrymore) is standing at the top of the stairs in her mothers dress and wings? Nervous about entering and seeing Henry? I feel that over the next two weeks, this is the line I will be repeating to myself. Terrified.

I still need to talk to the caterer and the baker. Get those details finalized. I would also like to sit down with the DJ once before the wedding for some basic information. There are a million thoughts running through my mind and I can not put them into words.

I am having nightmares.

We are officially 14 days from the wedding. I will be giving up the last name that I have had for 27 years, and becoming something far more common. It's not as scary as I once thought, but it is strange, for I have become so used to writing my name with such a flourish. I took years to perfect a signature I liked, and now I have to do it all over again! At least I can finally get a new social card. I hate my signature on it. I signed it when I was 16.

Our wedding cake topper, that we finally agreed on, after months of arguing? It's been discontinued, and no where stocks it. We found this out AFTER the company took our order and charged us. We got our money back, but were left with 16 days to find a new topper.

I also broke out with four huge pimples and a fever blister on my lip. Like I don't have enough to stress about. Which doesn't make things better, since stress is what caused them in the first place. And I can't leave them alone! Which means, I have 4 red, irritated pimples. Because I'm a moron.

As for the night mare that woke me up, it was awful. I am starting to feel better now, but sleep might still elude me, no matter how tired I actually am. Matt left me at the alter. Didn't show up. Had a friend tell me once I got to the location. (which makes no sense, as I will be there long before any of his friends, and will not even be in the dress yet). My dress was also cream, and more formfitting. And I was thin. That should have been a dead giveaway right there.

I was at home, Matt was gone, the kids were avoiding me, it's days later, and Matt finally shows up. I start yelling at him, and he's laughing at me, telling me I am over reacting, that he just wasn't ready, and I need to understand that. Then he goes into the bathroom to run a bath (since when can a 6'5 man take a bath? he barely fits under the shower head).

He leans down, and I notice the hickey on his neck. I call him out on it, and he sheepishly admits that it's a hickey. I start crying, screaming, and lashing out that he has ruined my life, and I thought I could forgive him before, but now that he slept with someone, I would never forgive him. He grabs my leg and tells me he didn't sleep with anyone, I kick him, and then wake up.

Which is why I am still awake.

I hate nightmares.

Grasshoppers are Growers

I started thinking, and wanted to catalog the number of strange things that happened while Rosalie was here. (and yes, Rosalie is an assumed name)

1. Grasshoppers having sex. Right outside my kitchen window. Yes, you read that right. And she looked rather board with his lack of movement. She just kept turning around, walking down the branches. You could almost hear her thinking about how she wishes she were a praying mantis.

2. Actually getting out of the house. It's freaky. I never leave without kids, and yet, was able to do it TWICE. Two days in a row.

3. Movie and a live show. We had the psycho white woman in the theater who didn't want to shut up, so another theater patron yelled for her to do just that. Well, apparently, "you don't speak to a fucking lady like that". A lady, who, tries to start a fight with said man in the parking lot, and when he doesn't bite, she calls him a coward.

4. The people we meet at the mall. The night before Rose left, we headed back to the Mills. She has got me to actually buy Gymbo clothing. A store I refused to step foot in, and she has me spend $100 on clothes. I could hurt her! With love of course. But we met some real characters while there. My favorite was the clerk at Earthbound. He had a bracelet on that said "I love Boobies". Of course, I laughed and he explained that his mom had a double mastectomy, and in was in support of her. Then, he let's us know that the person who bought him the bracelet just got a boob job, so he REALLY loves boobies. I jokingly said that I would get one, but it would just be bragging.

So, grasshoppers having sex....

I have a sadz

Rosalie is leaving tomorrow. I have had so much fun with her being down here. Even sitting right beside me on the computer herself! Granted, too much more time with each other and we would go broke, but damn it, I am sad to see her go.

Rob Zombie versus The Rednecks

It's starting to look like every single time Rosalie and I go out, something funny happens that makes us wonder "WTF?"

This time it was our night out to see Halloween 2. Originally, we were supposed to go on Saturday, but Matt got tickets to the Panthers game, so it was pushed to Sunday. Then he remembered his fantasy football draft for Sunday night... Which is why I was at the theater on Monday night to see Rob Zombies newest.

Yesterday our kids were terrors. Holy terrors. I think they planned it. By the time we got out of the house, we were exhausted. Maybe they were trying to make us to tired to go out? Wouldn't put it past the devious little monkeys we call children. So, we went to Starbucks for a little crack addiction so we could at least stay awake throughout the movie.

As soon as we get into the theater, the lights turn out. "Damn Jersey Devil!" I whisper. Loudly. We find our seats and settle in for what we hope will be a great movie. We both loved the first Halloween he did. Prefer it to the original Jamie Lee Curtis version. Well, in this theater, we had TALKERS. Such bad talkers, that another theater patron yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Can you imagine how a redneck woman feels when being told to shut the fuck up? Yeah, she was pissed. And freaking loud as hell. Screamed back "YOU DON'T TALK TO A FUCKING LADY LIKE THAT!!" quite a few times. And then some select other words and phrases. Off and on throughout the movie.

When the movie ended and we left, we saw her in the parking lot, big giant red hair, wife beater tank top, and camo's on. Yes, that would be a Redneck siting. Did we mention they brought a kid who looked to be about 8 years old to see the movie? Well, she and the theater guy were still arguing. Him and his girl in their truck, and her screaming that he is a fucking coward for not coming to say it to her face.

I promised Rosalie that when she came down, I was going to show her the south. I guess she can head home now, properly fulfilled.