If Christmas Trees Could Talk

If your tree could talk about how it felt about the holidays, would it be "Oh, I hope they pick me! I want to be the one they think is perfect!"? Or would it be, "For fucks sake! I was cut down, thrown on a dark truck, dragged away from the other trees, just so some asshat could drill a hole in me, throw hot lights that burn my branches, and shove this irritating hat on me? What the fuck? I ought to throw these stupid glass balls at their stupid heads"