"They Gave Me Candy!"

Oh, Thumbelina was so happy tonight. She was the most excited she's ever been on Halloween. I guess the past 2 years have been more of an "Oh, OK. I get to dress up. Awesome!" This year, at 5, it's "I get candy from strangers? And my parents allow it? Really? AWESOME!"

What was sad is that not many people actually participated. What happened to Halloween? I grew up in a neighborhood who made a party of it. The parents (at least one) would stay home and all the kids would hit the circle up. It was an awesome night. A wonderful time. Now, nothing. I just don't get it.

But, the girls had a blast, so did their dad. He was happy to be able to do this with them. And that is what matters. Seeing Thumbelina running down a hill screaming "Mommy! They gave me candy!" was enough to bring a smile to my face for the night.

She Does Love Me. I Think?

Words from and 8 year old: "You don't have to dress up like a witch for Halloween Mommy. You already are one!"

This from the child who just this morning kicked me as hard as she could in my right breast. Mr. Peaches picked her up and walked up behind them. She saw me coming and kicked. Hard. It's 2 hours later and I still feel a bit sick from it. She "didn't realize I would actually hurt you mommy!"

Maura Kelly Needs a Therapist

“I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything,” she writes. “To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room.”

Yes. I am fat. I'm sorry Ms. Kelly that it is aesthetically displeasing for you to see me just walk across the room. I'm sorry that you think it's disgusting for me to kiss my husband. I'm so sorry that the world isn't going to conform to your version of pretty. I hope you can get some medication to help you tolerate the world that's not perfect.

Hopefully it doesn't make you fat.

Bitch.

We Stabbed It With A Knife And Then Gutted It

It's Beginning To Feel A Lot Like Fall!

Last night I made my apple and onion grilled chicken. It smelled wonderful and honestly, once I had it on the plate, it left me wishing Thanksgiving was here!


After we ate, we all painted our pumpkin gourds. They aren't done yet, they are a work in progress! I'll showcase the finished product soon. Promise. Right now, you can enjoy the start:

I will stop lying to my parents and start taking my schoolwork seriously

That is the sentence that Alice is currently in the kitchen bawling her eyes out over. She hasn't been exactly honest with us, and for some reason, I haven't been informed. How am I, the mother, supposed to know something is wrong, when it all seems fine on my end? It blows up on that end.

Apparently, the kids have to glue their homework into a notebook when they are done. I wasn't informed of this, and Alice hasn't been doing it, so she gets in trouble. I check her agenda off each day, because she does her homework, but apparently, glue is a part of it. No excuses. I get it. However, I can't enforce the damn rule if you don't inform the parents. (This is the part where you say, "Duh")

Why do we consider it lying? At her school, if you finish all your homework, you get to eat in the classroom on Friday. If not, you have to stay in the cafeteria. Alice has been keeping it from me that she has had to stay in the cafeteria a few times because she forgot to glue her homework in.

Have currently sent her to sit on her bed until she calms down. At this rate, she would be done with them if she'd just, you know, write them.

Harvest Fall Get Ghoulish

Bento lunches have gotten fun. A couple of days ago, I made a sweet fall harvest, only to find myself seething with creative jealousy when one of my online friends showcased her completely awesome ghoulish Halloween lunch. Jealousy is bad people. Bad, bad, bad.



See how sweet? Right down to the cheese heart on the fall leaf. But I wanted to make "L's" gross out Halloween lunch, so I tried my hand. It doesn't look as awesome, but I don't think it looks too bad. Bloody eyeballs (dyed red), then the cherry tomato eyeballs (dyed green), moldy fingers, and a bat PB&J. I wonder if she'll actually be able to eat it! The cheese I cut the eyes out of looked like swiss cheese, so I added it. Too bad I can't make a mouse!

Daphne Blake, The Preschool Years

Thumbelina's 5th Birthday Party

I'm changing the way I do birthdays. From now on it's 5, 10, 13, 16, 18. All others will be family parties and a day of fun for them. Planning is so freaking stressful, and it's annoying having to track people down to RSVP. Is it really that hard for you to call or send an email? Really?

Despite that, her party was awesome. I don't know if the kids loved the Scooby Snacks, but I know my kids did. We wound up with way to much pizza, as they were having so much fun, they couldn't sit still for 5 seconds. That also meant we didn't get to play the party games. I think we have enough toilet paper for next month.

I'm exhausted!

This week, I am working at Thumbelina's preschool as a sub. Not just the one day here, another day there type of thing, an actual full 5 days. It's been a blast! I'm in the 2 year old class, and I have to admit, I was scared of how the kids would react to a week of change. I'm 3 days in, and so far, so good. I'm falling in love with these sweet kids. I can't help it.

Next week, I am subbing for a teacher in the 1yr old room, and I'm afraid I might wind up trying to smuggle out a few! I've been working the carpool, and these babies are so freaking cute! I want one! They come already made, instead of me having to cook one for 9 months, so that's a plus. Their parents might not be too happy about it... (for those picking up their phones to call the police, I'm not seriously kidnapping preschool kids)

I Think I Might Cry

This is Alice in 2006 at my stepsisters wedding:



Notice the skin tight dress?

This is Alice in 2010:


Notice the dress that still has plenty of breathing room? (Seriously, I had to pull it tight in the back!)

I found it back in the closet. We meant to have it cleaned, but forgot, mostly because, when would she wear it again? I want to cry. Good tears. She's running around in it right now, and Thumbelina put on her red dress not to be outdone!

What truly amazes me is that Alice is 4'4 now. I KNOW she was much shorter then, so how freaking long was this thing?!?!?!? In examining the photo, it's obvious her torso has gotten longer. The beaded waist used to fall to her hips, now it's in the middle of her waist.

I Got My Silicone Cups!

I realized after writing that, that the title sounds like I did something to my already huge ass breasts. Awesome. :P

The great reality is that I am talking about my silicone cupcake baking cups. I am using them for Alice's bento. Less waste is always a good thing. The kids talked me into buying more tiny cookie cutters too. A dogbone (which you saw makes awesome Scooby Snacks), cupcake, duck, christmas tree, a heart and gingerbread man. I adore Hobby Lobby. I also bought a cute set of of picks from the Mighty Dollar.

I Think I Need To Rest A Minute

My MIL sent me an email about cookies. Last year, I made cookies for her to give people at work, and apparently, a couple of them LOVED them, so they asked her if I could make some for them. One woman wants ice skates and the other, footballs. As of right now, I know the football lady needs 70. 70 footballs. How much do you charge for something like that? My wrists are going to be killing me after that. It will be fun though! The ice skates are the ones that most interest me. I've already decided that they will be white, with edible shimmer powder on them. How pretty, right?

On to what I've been doing. Tomorrow is Thumbelinas birthday party. She was at her dads last weekend so we couldn't do the party on her birthday. It gave me an extra week, so I'm not complaining. I will complain though about the lack of RSVP's. Is it really that hard? Do parents not realize that a person needs to have a head count for treats and food? Are they rude or just clueless? I'm sure I put them all on the spot by calling, but I now know there will be 8 people at her party, which is a nice turnout. If they all show up. That's another "WTF?" scenario I wonder about.

Enough stress about that. I handled it, I smiled, I went shopping. From dollar store to dollar store, I trekked to chase down everything I needed. Also, 3 trips to Walmart. (I tend to forget things. Oops!) I think we have it all except for cups and ice. I bought juice packs for the kids. The 100% Juice (bullshit) Capri-Suns? We are having a Scooby Doo cake and I'm ordering 8 pizzas for 27 people. Large pizzas. I hope it's enough.

For the treats, I bought Scooby Doo coloring books and a pack of crayons each. Then yesterday I made sugar cookie dough to make Scooby Snacks! I cut the dough into 3 balls, and colored them purple, teal, and green. Parents are going to LOVE me! I bought the white lunch bags to put them in. I'm going to use the girls markers to write Scooby Snacks on the front. The Scooby Snacks are going to mysteriously go missing, which will lead to our Scavenger Hunt! Yay! Alice is in charge of that. I still have to print the clues and glue them on index cards.

We are also playing Wrap the Mummy/Mummy Chase. I bought $1 Store toilet paper for the kids to wrap Mr. Peaches up in. When they are done, he's going to break lose and chase them. What 4/5 year olds won't love it?

This morning, as soon as I got up, I started baking cookies. I accidentally cooked the blue ones a minute too long, but i figured that kids don't care.





I had a small amount of dough from each color, so I mixed them together, and made a few tie dyed Scooby Snacks. Seemed fitting, right?

November 10, 2010

That's the scheduled date for Alice's MRI. We have to be at the hospital by 6am, which means we have to leave here by 5am. I told my MIL that we'll just spend the night down there and follow her into work. :P

Thumbelina and the Tulle Attack

FINALLY! I am finished with the no sew tutu! OMG, the cutting of tulle felt like it took forever. I actually canceled using the 3 super sparkly ones that I bought because of how much of a pain in the ass cutting it is.

I still feel the final product is beautiful. Maybe not good enough to sell, but hopefully good enough for people to compliment. First I cut up 125 yards of tulle. Each piece 50 inches long, and then due to the width, cut in half, to form 2 pieces


I then took 2 pieces at a time, and double knotted it in place along the elastic


Here is my final product



That is not Thumbelina's full costume. We are going to put stockings underneath and I need to find a pretty shirt.

Recent Bento

I made the ghost yesterday for Alice:



I went out yesterday and bought some more itty bitty cookie cutters. I now have a cupcake, christmas tree, gingerbread man, doggie bone, tulip, daisy, and a duck. They love it.

For Thumbelina, I cut out 2 pieces of cheese, and 1 piece of beef bologna for tiny breadless sandwiches. Then, I used the duck and cut out pieces of apple!

Can't I Have ONE Morning Without the Freaking Dramatics??!?!?!

Alice has been wearing training bras. You know, the sports bra type thing? Well, yesterday at Target, my MIL bought her two pretty A cup bras. Alice was not happy to see them, but she has to wear them.

I'm ready to bang my head against the wall. She's bawling. Has been all morning, since putting it on. I'm so freaking tired of her doing this every single time she has to do something she doesn't want to do! I'm at the end of the rope with her. How do you teach your child that crying is not the way to solve anything? It's just irritating?

Happy 5th Birthday Thumbelina!

Her party is this weekend, but I always make them cupcakes on the day of and a special dinner. Thumbelina's dinner was spaghetti and meatballs. They all love my homemade meatballs. They are super simple and can be found on my food blog. Alice even helped me shape them today!

DISCLAIMER: We had the kids dressed for bed. The leopard print pajama dress actually used to belong to Alice, that is how old it is. I did not buy it, it was a gift, and who looks down on gift jammies?

Pinkalicious cupcakes:


Clapping while we sing Happy Birthday (didn't pay royalties either! Nanananana!)and blowing out the candles:




Super excited over her new Barbie Daphne doll:


Now, let me tell you a secret about that doll. Except for the seller I bought the doll from, this one doll was going for prices anywhere from $50-$150. And sellers were getting it! Some little bitch kept trying to outbid me on it, but there was no way I wasn't winning. With shipping, I got her for a little over $25.00, which is the going rate for Barbie these days.

The things we do for kids and their obsessions!

Google Kills

I mentioned on Bargain Hunting Mamas that Alice was diagnosed yesterday at the orthopedics office. Many of the wonderful women quickly told me to stop personalizing it, that I didn't cause it by worrying that my children might wind up with it. It doesn't stop me from doing it however.

Honestly, it's one of the most fucked up things about me. I think about something, and it happens. Mr. Peaches often jokes about why I don't ever thinking about us winning the lottery. I do, we just never buy a ticket, thereby making it impossible. I know most people reading this probably think I am insane now, and that's fine. It's why I don't talk about it. I know it sounds crazy. It took me years to fully admit that it was true. I think about someone and then they call or I get a letter from them. I have vivid dreams, it happens. I worry about something so much, it happens. I've even predicted pregnancies before they happened. Freaked a few house moms out in the past with that. And I think I cursed my daughter with this.

It's only an 11% curve. Just making it in, but what worries me is that they normally don't show this young, and if they do, 77% of cases get worse. She's going to have an MRI and be x-rayed every 6 months, so there is really nothing I can until then except for worry, right? You're wondering why I've always been worried about something like this, aren't you? Well, that's a foster care story. When I lived in Asheville, my roommate and friend Michelle had scoliosis. Bad. She wore the back brace and eventually has surgery at 15. Her back was a snake, it was so curved. You could tell in her walk, but for the most part, you didn't know. She did, as she felt it and lived with it. Watching her, scoliosis has always scared me. Self fulfilling prophesy?

I haven't seen her since I was 14. 14 years actually! I looked her up on Facebook yesterday but couldn't find her. I thought if anyone could tell me anything, it would be her. A doctor doesn't want to scare you, neither does my RN MIL. What I need to hear is that it will probably be alright, but if it's NOT, here's what's going to happen. I don't think doctors understand that. That we don't want platitudes, we want to know where it could go. Or at least, I do. Otherwise, I'll take to Google and scare the shit out of myself. That's never a good thing. Google is evil. Google Kills.

At 10:30pm, I started having contractions 5 years ago

I'm out of toothpicks. I was using them to hold together grapes and cherry tomatoes for Alice's lunches, but ran out. So I started searching for cute ones. Bento worthy ones.

Um, my town doesn't seem to like "cute". Luckily, I found cheap china goods at the Dollar Store. I can squeal with delight. They are not what I wanted, but they'll work.

Since I'm sharing photos, let me share my Jackie O'Latern lunch that I made Alice. The one she walked out of the house leaving on the coffee table. She's a bit scatterbrained, and I didn't notice because I got called in to sub at the preschool.

Awesome, right?

Today, I am hopefully spending the day making a new sew tutu for Thumbelina, dragging alice to the stores with me, because I'm evil like that. Unless a neighbor is willing to watch her... That would be AWESOME! Thumbelinas birthday is tomorrow and I have some things to get, and the tutu is for Halloween. She's going to be a fairy!

You Gotta See The Size of That Thing!

Is being a preschool substitute hard? Sure it is. When it's not planned and you wind up getting called out of the blue first thing in the morning and have to throw yourself together and run? When you are stuck in a room of 11 screaming 4yr olds? (one of them being your own daughter...) I love it though. Considering what I heard today has me still laughing, a few hours later, it's easy to understand why.

One of the teachers was telling me about a girl in her class (whom I've met before subbing in there) who is super prissy. Such as today when they were doing Stop, Drop, and Roll, refused because "I don't want to mess up my hair". That on it's own is cute, but it's what the teachers shared next that I can't wait to tell Mr. Peaches.

Little Miss Priss obviously spends a lot of time with her dad. She went to the bathroom one day and came out, and yelled "You gotta see the size of that thing!" I imagine the other 3yr olds didn't notice, but I know the teachers couldn't help but giggle.

Another time, Little Miss Priss needed help wiping, and the teacher said it wasn't pretty smelling, and she tried to be discreet in asking the lead teacher for some spray, when LMP comes out, grinning from ear to ear and goes "Whew! Smells bad in there! That was a good one!"

I know you're laughing now. No one can picture a prissy 3yr old doing that and not let out a small giggle.

Good Morning?

I have been reading something online for the past few days and I have to say, people are stupid. I have seen people go back and forth over something that, if let go, wouldn't even be an issue. Some of the things said make it sound hilarious too. What makes the whole thing so funny to me, is that neither side is better than the other, they both love drama, they both attack people, but one side feels that they are better because, um, why? I still can't figure it out, and their heads are so far up their "I'm better than you asses" to ever see it.

Additional Words:

ChurchGirl, I love you and I will always support those of mine I love. You rock and you actually are a wonderful person, no matter what others say to bring you down. Love you girl.

My Breadmaker Has Died :(

Many months ago, my breadmaker tried to leap to it's death in the middle of it's dough cycle. I did all that I could to save it, and I honestly thought I had. (Tape works wonders) Sadly, it succumbed to injuries sustained during that earlier leap today.

At least I now have an excuse to get my mixer... Maybe a few attachments?