Thursday, January 28, 2010


I know that I can't get pregnant right now. It's not good timing with Matt's whole job thing, and my doctor doesn't even want me to think about it until we know for sure what's going on. But I can't help but feel the pain of jealousy coursing through me every single time I see another mommy get a positive line on their pregnant test. I'm happy for them, I am. But I WISH IT WERE ME.

Is this normal? Am I OK? Or am I a bad person for feeling remotely jealous in the face of another womans happiness?

I had a dream last night that I took a test and the positive line was as dark as the control line. Just like it was when I tested for Thumbelina. So when I woke up from that fantastic dream I had to remind myself that I am not pregnant. And even went as far as to use a one of my cheap $ store tests to wipe my mind clear of it. Of course, it was negative. No doubt in my mind. They aren't even sure if I can get pregnant, and I am on birth control no less!

I am sure the baby fever will wane. (f that small part that is feeling jealous keeps getting ignored, it will go away. But for now, I feel it. And I hate it.

1 comment:

Casey said...

I hope it's normal, or at least ok.... cause I have the same problem. I feel the same way, especially on BBC when they complain about being preggo. UGH!