Sunday, January 17, 2010

Need to share

On my mommy boards, a poster has popped up. Sweet little 18 year old girl, whose boyfriend of two months, that she lives with, doesn't want a baby, he already has a 2 month old, but she is ready for one. So I decided to help the girl out with some advice on how to get pregnant when he says no.

Are you ready for my advice? (and if you can't tell tongue in cheek, go away)

I was thinking, if he isn't going to be able to have sex with you on a night you are ovulating, you can save sperm the following way:

1. Get him good and drunk

2. Give him an amazing blow job. There is a technique involving a peach on my blog (link in my siggy)

3. Pretend to swallow, but hold on to it in your mouth. You got him drunk so he won't notice the next part

4. Spit it in a tupperware container, mark the container as something nasty, like liver, so he won't ever touch it.

5. Stick container in the freezer until you ovulate

6. When you need it, stick the container in the microwave to heat it up

7. Graba turkey baster or meat injector and pull the sperm up into it

8. Insert baster/injector into your vagina, making sure you are laying flat on your back, with your butt proped on pillows in the air

9. Squeeze his sperm inside of you, and remain in this position for 2 hours, so the sperm has time to make it to the egg

Now, the freezer will kill all the X sperm, and leave the Y sperm alive. So, this is a sure fire way of getting pregnant, and having a boy.

3 comments:

Gab said...

is this for real?

Princess Peaches said...

As the entry says, it's tongue in cheek, as in, sarcastic.

Which would mean, no, it's not real.

Marie said...

Its sarcastic, but she might take it as trute and she might try it. I wouldn't want to be the one responsible!